I apologize in advance for this post. Firstly, I was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive breast cancer (her2+. er+) in Nov 2013. Had lumpectomy, chemo, radiation, then ovaries out in Sept 14. Since then, my life is hell. I can't sleep, I sweat profusely ALL the time (every 15 mins or so I get the hot flushes), I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to talk to anyone, have no patience with anyone, I cry alot and in general just have this horrible feeling in my gut all the time. I feel that I can't talk to anyone, as they all think I'm fine, treatment is finished, what am I complaining about? In comparison to how I am feeling now, treatment was a breeze. I tell myself "pull yourself together, there are people out there in worse situations", but I just can't get out of this funk. A couple of friends have slowly been distancing themselves from me, I think maybe they're sick of hearing about it a year and a bit down the track. Anyway, big apologies, I just need to get this stuff of my chest before I go completely insane. I don't expect any sympathy from anyone, just understanding.

As Deanne says,you have had a terrible time,and add to everything,the hormonal changes,and it becomes pretty much a nightmare.I have a couple of suggestions that may help,if only a little.First up,stay connected on here,because many ladies are also getting relentless hot flushes.You have to experience them to truly know how debilitating they can be,I actually wrote a blog post about mine,several months ago,because I was getting them from the minute I woke up in the morning,constantly,with a bit of a reprieve between 1 and 4 in the afternoon.Then all night they would wake me up.I feel that perhaps calling the Cancer council helpline and chatting to them,would be a good start,especially if you don't like going out of the house at present.Try only drinking ICE COLD water during the day to lower your core temperature.Only wear cotton tops,like cotton t shirts,and never wear long sleeves,Buy yourself a chillow pillow onlineThey are cheap,and they are BLOODY FANTASTIC !! You can also get a cooling pad that you lay on,but I haven't needed that now.The one other thing that I have done,and I urge you to try it( because it cant hurt) is buy a bottle of Blackmores MagMin.Its a magnesium supplement.Take 2 in the morning and 2 mid afternoon.One last thing,try to get out of the house and take a walk each day.I found it interesting,that even when my hot flushes were at their peak,I hardly ever had one when I was walking!! It's also difficult when you have a young family to care for.I am 14 months past chemo now,and it's still in my mind every day.We will never get truly past it,but you can learn to live with it.My hot flushes took several months to even look like they were starting to settle down.These days I have 4 or 5 a day.Definitely more if I am stressed.All the best and please stay in touch on here.Cheers xoxRobyn

Thanks ladies, it really helps to know that I am not going insane, that it will get better in time. I will take on board your suggestions, especially the exercise. I used to exercise regularly, I had just started cross fit when diagnosed. I have gone from a size 10 to 16, so I really have to find my lost mojo and get my bum off the couch. I will start tonight after dinner. I am starting an anti-depressant next week that is supposed to calm the flushes a little. At this point, I am willing to try anything. The kids (7,10,12) need their mum back too, not this grumpy stranger. Thanks again for taking the time to reply to my post, it means the world to me. I might also add a major part of my frustrations at the moment is the way my surgeon has been treating me. He told me basically if my life is that bad, to stop taking my medication (arimidex) and to go onto HRT, when all of my treatment has been to stop my hormones. He also made comment prior to taking my portacath out that he hopes he doesn't have to put it back in. I feel a little let down and will be letting my oncologist know. I don't think she will be very happy!

Your surgeon sounds like a real D.....K !!!!It is really hard to get started,but baby steps are the way to go!! Try writing down what exercise you do each day,and that way you will get a clearer picture of where you can change things and juggle things around.Dont expect too much of yourself,because any step forward is good.It takes TIME:):) Roll on winter I say,because the hot flushes don't like summer!!! XoxRobyn

Oh Boy! I agree with Robyn about your surgeon! I also think it helps to write down what you do exercise wise. Give yourself a pat on the back for everything you achieve and maybe a little reward every now and then too. I bet you will find that your family will notice the little changes and this helps you to feel better too. Think of your exercise as a positive thing (do what you enjoy rather than forcing yourself to do something too difficult). Maybe use music to motivate yourself too. I found this worked wonders for me. Sometimes the words of some songs would actually make me cry but they also helped me to feel stronger. I also went to a physio who specialized in helping people who have had Cancer. She became my own personal cheer squad and really helped me to notice every improvement I made. You can see your GP who can fill out a form (I forget what it is called) that gives you 5 subsidized visits to a physio or exercise physiologist through Medicare. Good luck and let us know how you go. Deanne xxx

Hate to say it but I went through the same thing as you. I finished treatment and expected things to start getting better but the menopause and fatigue from rads left me pretty angry. My poor kids and husband! I knew that it wasn't me and it wasn't the new me that I wanted. My onc prescribed Prestiq and after about a month of taking it my moods panned out - not so high or low, the tears stopped and I was so angry all the time. I took it for 6 months until I was ready to stop them, it took a couple of months to come off them but I have been feeling good. I catch myself every now and again getting worked up over nothing so I am consciously trying to let the little things go. It does get better with time, my flushes have settled a lot but I not a bucket of sweat like I used to be. My girlfriends laugh when I have a flush and I just go with it and say 'your time will come' I will have the last laugh!

Menopause | BCNA Online Network

16 Replies

Robyn_W
Member
11 years ago
Your surgeon sounds like a real D.....K !!!!It is really hard to get started,but baby steps are the way to go!! Try writing down what exercise you do each day,and that way you will get a clearer picture of where you can change things and juggle things around.Dont expect too much of yourself,because any step forward is good.It takes TIME:):) Roll on winter I say,because the hot flushes don't like summer!!! XoxRobyn
emrod11
Member
11 years ago
Thanks ladies, it really helps to know that I am not going insane, that it will get better in time. I will take on board your suggestions, especially the exercise. I used to exercise regularly, I had just started cross fit when diagnosed. I have gone from a size 10 to 16, so I really have to find my lost mojo and get my bum off the couch. I will start tonight after dinner. I am starting an anti-depressant next week that is supposed to calm the flushes a little. At this point, I am willing to try anything. The kids (7,10,12) need their mum back too, not this grumpy stranger. Thanks again for taking the time to reply to my post, it means the world to me.

I might also add a major part of my frustrations at the moment is the way my surgeon has been treating me. He told me basically if my life is that bad, to stop taking my medication (arimidex) and to go onto HRT, when all of my treatment has been to stop my hormones. He also made comment prior to taking my portacath out that he hopes he doesn't have to put it back in. I feel a little let down and will be letting my oncologist know. I don't think she will be very happy!
Robyn_W
Member
11 years ago
As Deanne says,you have had a terrible time,and add to everything,the hormonal changes,and it becomes pretty much a nightmare.I have a couple of suggestions that may help,if only a little.First up,stay connected on here,because many ladies are also getting relentless hot flushes.You have to experience them to truly know how debilitating they can be,I actually wrote a blog post about mine,several months ago,because I was getting them from the minute I woke up in the morning,constantly,with a bit of a reprieve between 1 and 4 in the afternoon.Then all night they would wake me up.I feel that perhaps calling the Cancer council helpline and chatting to them,would be a good start,especially if you don't like going out of the house at present.Try only drinking ICE COLD water during the day to lower your core temperature.Only wear cotton tops,like cotton t shirts,and never wear long sleeves,Buy yourself a chillow pillow onlineThey are cheap,and they are BLOODY FANTASTIC !! You can also get a cooling pad that you lay on,but I haven't needed that now.The one other thing that I have done,and I urge you to try it( because it cant hurt) is buy a bottle of Blackmores MagMin.Its a magnesium supplement.Take 2 in the morning and 2 mid afternoon.One last thing,try to get out of the house and take a walk each day.I found it interesting,that even when my hot flushes were at their peak,I hardly ever had one when I was walking!! It's also difficult when you have a young family to care for.I am 14 months past chemo now,and it's still in my mind every day.We will never get truly past it,but you can learn to live with it.My hot flushes took several months to even look like they were starting to settle down.These days I have 4 or 5 a day.Definitely more if I am stressed.All the best and please stay in touch on here.Cheers xoxRobyn

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