Wow, it sounds like you are going through the anger stage of the 5 stages of grief.
And have got a bit stuck.
I can't help with the side effects as I am only just started on FEC +D and already had migraines and irritable bowel syndrome before I started.
But perhaps you could find some peace of mind getting some help through the Chronic Disease Mental health program which is organised through your GP
There is also an Allied health program the GP can also organise which gives you access to a dietitian or exercise physiologist or podiatrist for several free visits a year.
Working on helping just some of your symptoms might help you to feel a bit more in control of your life.
I can sympathise with your anger, none of us are going to be the same after we come out the other side, not physically or mentally, no matter how we seem to be to other people.
I guess the trick its trying to find some way to get comfortable within ourselves for at least some of the time.
I really hope you can find a way forward.
