Lady bits....

Oooh I had all sorts of weird goings on Down South, both front and back. My urine had a funny chemical, almost petrol sort of odour, and I would also feel as if I needed to wee, fast, and then upon perching on the Porcelain Throne, would struggle to get things going. Then eventually, the floodgates would open, along with the whiffy smell. I would think I was finished...dry the dewdrops off my daisy, stand up to re hoist my knickers, then dribble more piddle down my legs. Around the corner (so to speak), I had this constant feeling that I had a piece of toilet paper stuck between my cheeks. I also had the problem that I found it difficult to be sure if I just had a fart on board or more. It did happen that I'd think I was just going to blow some dust, and then would end up with more than I bargained for. After that, I'd go and let rip on the loo, rather than just tilting to the side, to be sure. It did improve. Bah....fiddlesticks!!!