Molly, my first diagnosis I was 43 then I had a recurrence at 47, I did rads first time but 2nd time was chemo and that seems to be the clincher. Its harrowing, Ive had an awful lot of side effects since it, but Im working on everything currently and determined. I find I love popping on my makeup before I go out, it helps me feel a little the way I used to. I know it sounds stupid, but when home and dagging around no makeup, it really shows what its done. I agree of course we are grateful I guess, my Cancer was gone after lumpectomy, no node involvement, full body scans nothing. We made decisions based on their expertise, I did everything I could and should, but it doesnt make it any easier to be thankful or put on a happy face when you are the one left to pick up the pieces from the aftermath? they don't...so be kind to you, its so key..and find little way to nurture you that make you feel important and feminine :) It will get better promise xx Melinda