Molly, I HEAR YOU!!!! Its exactly how I felt through Chemo...it was beyond SHIT!!! Im now 16 months post, whilst my hair Im grateful has grown back and nicely. I dont recognise myself anymore, it aged me like I would never have imagined, OMG I looked still quite youthful prior to treatment it seemed to really happen once I finished. Weight?? GRRRRR I put on 5kg and it NEVER came off no matter what I tried and it really has added to the whole thing of not feeling like you anymore at all. Im 9 weeks post surgery now and back exercising but chemo nearly killed me so its been a long road back, I want my slim petite figure back too!!!! so Im working on it, but its not listening!! So rant away LOL its good for the soul!!! it will get better though...give it some time and just remember in spite of what you see in that mirror make sure you love you that little bit more each night as you go to sleep and remind yourself what an absolutely awesome job you are doing!! Hugs Melinda xo