Arimidex

I jumped in the car of a friend the other day, she first asked  how I was, then it was all about the "free boob job" that I had got.   Mmmmm if I had a choice, no cancer, life as we once knew it OR removal of 30% of breast (lucky they were big), removal of uterus, cervix, tubes and ovaries. Then 30% of other breast removed to match the other one .  I know what I would choose.  The other thing they do not take into consideration is all the time off work and how tiring all these surgeries, drugs, radiation, early menopause, it will take a long time for our bodies to recover.

Neighbours of 12 years, just across the road who we have been friends with have ignored us, and I say us as my hubbie would have a beer on friday nights, it got to the 10 month mark and we would wave as they drove past, I made the decision why bother waving and pretending we were happy that they had not once call or asked how I was, absolutely nothing.  I was there to support her when her father was charged with rape, horrible mess. He was guilty.  Fed and looked after her husband and 3 children.  All I can say is how strange people are, selfish and so self absorbed.

I think I feel better getting that off my chest. I know you all understand.

Take care everyone,

Viv

I jumped in the car of a friend the other day, she first asked  how I was, then it was all about the "free boob job" that I had got.   Mmmmm if I had a choice, no cancer, life as we once knew it OR removal of 30% of breast (lucky they were big), removal of uterus, cervix, tubes and ovaries. Then 30% of other breast removed to match the other one .  I know what I would choose.  The other thing they do not take into consideration is all the time off work and how tiring all these surgeries, drugs, radiation, early menopause, it will take a long time for our bodies to recover.

Neighbours of 12 years, just across the road who we have been friends with have ignored us, and I say us as my hubbie would have a beer on friday nights, it got to the 10 month mark and we would wave as they drove past, I made the decision why bother waving and pretending we were happy that they had not once call or asked how I was, absolutely nothing.  I was there to support her when her father was charged with rape, horrible mess. He was guilty.  Fed and looked after her husband and 3 children.  All I can say is how strange people are, selfish and so self absorbed.

I think I feel better getting that off my chest. I know you all understand.

Take care everyone,

Viv

I jumped in the car of a friend the other day, she first asked  how I was, then it was all about the "free boob job" that I had got.   Mmmmm if I had a choice, no cancer, life as we once knew it OR removal of 30% of breast (lucky they were big), removal of uterus, cervix, tubes and ovaries. Then 30% of other breast removed to match the other one .  I know what I would choose.  The other thing they do not take into consideration is all the time off work and how tiring all these surgeries, drugs, radiation, early menopause, it will take a long time for our bodies to recover.

Neighbours of 12 years, just across the road who we have been friends with have ignored us, and I say us as my hubbie would have a beer on friday nights, it got to the 10 month mark and we would wave as they drove past, I made the decision why bother waving and pretending we were happy that they had not once call or asked how I was, absolutely nothing.  I was there to support her when her father was charged with rape, horrible mess. He was guilty.  Fed and looked after her husband and 3 children.  All I can say is how strange people are, selfish and so self absorbed.

I think I feel better getting that off my chest. I know you all understand.

Take care everyone,

Viv

Hi Ruth, Please don't apologise for being "negative", I call it venting, and I think it's very healthy to get it out;  and this is exactly the right place to do it.  It sounds as though your friend is giving you more negative messages than positive ones;  I know a couple of people like that;  they're like a black hole, and even though you might be feeling on top of the world, after you've spent some time with them, it's as though they've sucked all the positive feelings out of you and you end up feeling very depressed.  I know it's not always possible to cut them from your life;  I'm not someone who can be that confronting;  but perhaps try to limit the contact you have with her.  Also, I learned a tip at a BCNA forum, I asked what to do about those people who persist in telling you about their friend/cousin/aunty/sister/neighbour/someone who lives in the next state...and their bad experience with cancer.  The suggestion was to put your hand up as in a "stop" signal, and say "please stop, I don't want to hear about that".  It's hard to do, but it certainly takes the wind out of their sails.  I, like you, have very little time for people who want to have a "pity party" (I like that expression, sums it up nicely), when they have so much to be grateful for.  It's usually the people who haven't really had any serious problems in their lives, that seem to want to be drama queens;  those of us who have faced serious problems, generally look for the good in every day, and be thankful.  I certainly do, and it sounds like you do too.  In an odd way, too, I know what you mean by saying she's almost jealous;  it's as though they resent the attention you're getting;  even though you wouldn't wish the reason on your worst enemy.

I dont think your friend realises that you have had extremely major surgery;  and as well as the physical side, you have the emotional side to content with.  It will take months to heal, and I don't know that you ever "get over it".  I think that is an extremely hurtful remark.  As you say, and I agree, it's hard to understand why some people act like they do.

Hang in there, and know that the majority of people do care, including your "virtual" friends.  Enjoy your night out, it might be just what the doctor ordered.

Love, Bella xx

That fluid build up would have been incredibly painful;  I'm so glad that things are working out;  and your true friends have come to the fore!  Enjoy your Saturday night.  It's such a big step, and yet outsiders would have no idea what you're going through.  I also found  letting go and accepting help was hard, I have always been independent;  but looking from the other side of the coin;  friends and family are just wanting to do something, anything...they can't make it go away, but it helps them if we can accept help.  Small steps are good.  

Bella xx

PS - Is Saturday night your 60th?  

Hi Bella, I had trouble with a fluid build up.  The Doctor drained over 200ml. from my left side.  It is feeling a lot better and I am feeling better in myself.  I was just feeling frustrated because it seemed to be ongoing but hopefully things will start to improve.  It's made me realise who my true Friends are and that they are very happy to lend a hand.  I am hoping to go out on Saturday Night with Friends and to be able to wear my masectomy bra with no pain.  I have learnt to relax and go with the flow instead of trying to fight it and be so independant and it works a treat.  I able able to achieve small things and it feels great.

Hi Bella, I had trouble with a fluid build up.  The Doctor drained over 200ml. from my left side.  It is feeling a lot better and I am feeling better in myself.  I was just feeling frustrated because it seemed to be ongoing but hopefully things will start to improve.  It's made me realise who my true Friends are and that they are very happy to lend a hand.  I am hoping to go out on Saturday Night with Friends and to be able to wear my masectomy bra with no pain.  I have learnt to relax and go with the flow instead of trying to fight it and be so independant and it works a treat.  I able able to achieve small things and it feels great.

Hi Ruth,  I haven't seen your post about your setback...it seems hard to follow the "thread" sometimes of these posts;  but I gather things haven't been good.  I'm sorry to hear that.  It's hard, but hang in there;  and I agree - if you have friends who are willing to help .. let them.  It is hard to say "yes" sometimes;  we all like to be independent, but I think more importantly we don't want to be a burden on anyone;  but those true friends want to help;  and if you can say "yes" to them, it makes them feel better, and to be honest, is a practical help to us.    It certainly sorts out who your true friends are, that you can count on.  I know there are some people who still love us, but shy away;  they just can't cope;  but hang on to those who can!