Ah, sex. I miss it so. The problem is complex. There is the lack of desire, which in itself is not insurmountable but when you couple that with the fact 'my whatname has snapped shut' things get really complicated. I might add, the whatname statement applies to pretty much anything from problems with my car to my inability to get a padlock undone on my garden shed. Chemo brain makes for odd shortcuts when trying to explain things.
If you are fantasizing about a relationship I think you are halfway there. The changes in what is physically possible when it comes to penetrative hetro sex have a flow on effect for many of us--decades of sex following a familiar and satisfying path are overturned and we now have to not only learn a new way for ourselves, we have to figure out how to satisfy our partners as well in a way that doesn't leave them mourning what has gone. It's difficult to teach an old dog new tricks, and a couple of very painful and unsuccessful attempts can make both participants very wary. That's not such a problem if the focus is not on accommodating a penis.
Phhftt, have a go and do what comes naturally to you.
