Forum Discussion
Here Goes
Hello. My name is Jenny and I live on the NSW/Vic Border. I have gone to post in here a couple of times but backed out. Denial maybe?
On Wednesday I was officially given the diagnosis of BC. I have had a large lump for around a year but I have 26JJ sized breasts and the lump is down along where the bra wire sits. I put it down to thickening because of the bra wire. I recently started Lite N Easy and after loosing around 10kg I noticed that the lump was much larger than I thought. It has its own postcode ;p Its 5cm x 3cm x 2cm.
So I did the mammo and ultrasound and knew when I called for results, that the urgency by my GP to get me in to see her, that something was very wrong. That day I had bloods, CT scan and was booked in for biopsy. All along I was doing as much research as possible. Armed with knowledge I have always found it easier to deal with things. Must be part of the anxiety I have day in and out.
I met my surgeon on Wednesday who gave me the diagnosis. I was alone at the appointment and was in shock, none the less. I guess I was hoping it was just a mass that they just wanted to remove for safety sake. I do remember asking him what type of Cancer and I vaguely remember him saying Metastatic and that its very common. I am booked in for a lumpectomy and node removal on the 22nd. (Tuesday Week). I am then too do 5 weeks radiation.
I've got all of that in my head and ready to deal with. But now I am reading all of the paraphernalia and Metastatic means I have it in other places in my body? Do they know where? Does this mean I will probably have to do chemo after radiation?
I know I am overthinking all of this and should take it one day at a time. I work 3 days a week and also on partial DSP. Being at work keeps my mind off things. I am planning on taking vacation leave for the rest of the week after my lumpectomy. I am so grateful that my oldest of 2 (daughter) is able to travel up from Melbourne to bring me home from the surgery and stay with me for a couple of days.
Another questions. I had been using implannon rod to control my periods, over the years. The last one was put in around 2011 and is still in my arm somewhere. As I have very thick arms I cant feel it and haven't bothered about it. I believe that it has run out of the hormones anyway after all of this time. Is this something I should tell my surgeon about?
I have so many questions. When will I start radiation? Will someone contact me or do I contact them?
I met my Breast Care Nurse but she was heading on vacation to France the next day. I have the number of another one and I will phone her and make contact with her this week.
It's like my whole life is about the Cancer now. I am being strong in front of everyone else but these times at home alone I am terrified.
Sorry if this is all over the shop but that is how my head works. I have been treated and continue to be treated for Depression an Anxiety for close to 20 years and have only recently found a good balance. The Lite N Easy journey was me actually caring about myself. Some days I shake so much it looks like I am having a min seizure.
Usually I am upbeat and cheeky and able to find the lighter sign of things. But tonight I am low.
Any insights would be wonderful.
365 Replies
- Hi @TabooGal good on you first one down and 3 to go. Hope you have picked up a bit and feeling relatively semi normal. Its good that at least you can get some sleep through the worst of it. I so appreciate you sharing your thoughts down here as It gives me some sort idea on what to expect.( even though everyone is different ) Are you managing to eat much or getting out for a walk. Got my first onc appointment tomorrow and will no doubt get the full barrage of what to expect and what cocktails they will be giving me. :/
Let us know how you are travelling. Am feeling really anxious as well about chemo, even more so that when I had the surgeries. Big hugs as well xxx - @TabooGal Fingers crossed you feel ok today love. Keeps us posted. Big hug. Margie xx
- It's hard to predict @taboogal - everyone reacts a bit differently. I've suffered from nausea, indigestion and reflux, and sever fatigue throughout chemo, both on AC and taxol. AC has become a bit of a distant memory but as long as I kept the drugs up, I wasn't too bad (the first one when I didn't have strong meds for the early days was a living nightmare). I ended up with Ativan for nausea (and Somac for the indigestion and reflux (which has now been changed to Nexium). The Ativan is an anti-anxiety drug but also works for nausea and to be perfectly honest, the anti-anxiety bit has not been a problem! The drawback is that you can't take it if you have to drive or anything like that. I found that with AC, Day 1 wasn't too bad but the downward descent would happen during Day 2. Days 3 & 4 were best spent sleeping and I would probably lose most of the day. By Day 5, I was usually able to manage short walks and Day 7, I was pretty much as good as I would get - most of my energy in the morning but crashing and burning during the day - and terrible if I overdid it. I was managing 5km walks each morning in my good weeks, up until the last AC when shortness of breath became a factor.
- So good to hear @TabooGal. If you can, go for a walk, even if it's just for 15 minutes. It will help with the side effects. Try not to anticipate too much, we're all different! :) K xox
- Glad to hear it @TabooGal - you're so lucky you can sleep it off!
- @Eastmum feeling much better tonight. Cant believe how much I slept today! AC every 3 weeks x 4.
- HI @TabooGal - how are you feeling tonight? Don't be surprised if you feel a bit crappy on the weekend - sometimes day 4 or 5 are the best days for pyjama days! Is your next infusion in two weeks or three weeks?
- @arpie I do love having a king bed all to myself.
@sister I was surprised to read that you don't really recognize the low cell count. What am I to expect on the bad days? - If you can sleep through it, that's brilliant - believe me, better than being awake and feeling lousy. You'll probably have a couple of days that are bad, a few that are pretty ordinary and then a couple of weeks where you're feeling better (just be aware that the good weeks are also when your immune system is pretty shot).
- Do what you have to do to get thru it, @TabooGal xxx Sleeping in all day is good now and then. I havent done it for a while, but have done so.
Thinking of you xxx
