Hi Amanda
I am glad that you now have a plan - it's always a good place to start.
Releasing emotion is a hard thing to do but I always do feel better after a big sobbing session. The trouble is it's hard to find time to do that when you have small children! You don't want to cry in front of them and freak them out and then you don't always want to be a sobbing mess for your husband - difficult. My breast care nurse recommended the shower as a good place and I have done that a few times...
I hope that the trial works out for you and that you can manage to stabilise everything. Like you said, you have a lot worth fighting for. And remember you have all of us in your corner.
Amy x