I have just heard the sad news from Wendy55's partner, Ron, that Wendy passed away on March 3rd, 2024. He asked me to thank everyone for their friendship and contact with Wendy over the years. xxShe was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer 11 years ago - and had the most amazing Oncologist who fought for her all the way - she was on many new tests and trials with many good outcomes. Most Oncs will only give you 2-3 'lines of treatment' ... Wendy's Onc gave her 10 or 11. She was on many trials & tests & given meds on compassionate grounds .... but late last year, things started getting really tough.It was Wendy's wish that her friends on BCNA be advised of her passing. She wanted the Dragonfly Motif to grace her name. Wendy was just the most amazing, uplifting, wise, wonderful woman - so tolerant of the treatment she was going thru - yet wiling to share SO MUCH of her story with all of us. Wendy had been the beacon for so many members here (particularly those with Mets) and was so supportive of everyone else, even when she was feeling so crook herself, particularly in the last 6 months of her life. She was incredibly supportive of me, when my beloved husband was diagnosed with Mets in 2020 and passed away in May 2022 .... for which I will forever be grateful.They really could write a book about her Breast Cancer story - as she never stopped fighting. Vale Wendy - Rest in Peace my friend. Fly high xxI have advised my siblings that I, too, want members to know of my demise and the dragonfly attached to my profile, when the time comes. They will email BCNA when appropriate.

The way I see it is that members who become metastatic should be asked about this or members should be asked on joining what their wishes are. BCNA only exist because we do and their survival is related only to us. So if they stop meeting members needs, they will lose funding if members aren't joining or they leave. My point is that they should therefore give us the dragonfly and other simple things we require from them. The current survey is an opportunity but for staff who read this thread please look at this issue. Actually any issues raised from us here should always be considered, escalated and responded to. That would be service.

Thank you @arpie for letting us know. I asked about Wendy55 recently and suspected she wasn't well sometime ago. It is a shame members aren't recognised with the dragonfly. I know I would want to be. People with mets continue to say we aren't visible and a little thing like a dragonfly is small recognition. Wendy55 was wonderful support to so many in this network, including me and I so appreciated her thoughtfulness and wisdom.

Thanks @arpie Wendy truly was an inspiration to us all , especially those with a Mets diagnosis.I always though the dragonfly motif to indicate those members who had passed on was a good idea and in terms of privacy issues I would have thought BCNA could contact the members of the online network to seek their approval ( or otherwise) to the use of the motif if they pass on.For myself I would like it to be on my profile should I pass on as a result of this disease.

Dear @arpie thank you very much for letting us know about @wendy55 @wendy55 posted some caring lovey supportive posts on a personal note, I’m in the mets group but I don’t like the dragonfly motif and have had a discussion around this with @Mez_BCNA - it should be an option to opt for or notbest wishes to everyone xx

@arpie, @Locksley and @Julez1958 seems several of us would like to be recognised if we pass from this disease and me included. This organisation only exists because of our disease and we should be able to have a dragonfly if we one. @Mez_BCNA this really should be put forward again. Things change and ad someone with mets, I feel very strongly about this. This feedback from us here needs to included in the current survey and escalated. Please also escalate my previous feedback about listing members of the mets group by active first instead of by joining group date.

Sadly, Wendy55 passed away on March 3rd, 2024

27 Replies

arpie
Member
2 years ago
How about we start a new thread on the Dragonfly (or any) motif ....

I've started a thread here:
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/26573/discussion-re-dragonfly-or-other-motif-for-members-whove-passed-for-other-members-to-know/p1?new=1
Blossom1961
Member
2 years ago
@Cath62 Having mets makes you much more aware of significant symbols and what they mean personally.
Cath62
Member
2 years ago
I think people with mets who pass away deserve to be honoured with a little something. We are only now just being counted in Australia and that was a long time coming too. It is just a little something to acknowledge the extremely difficult time we have endured. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is one thing but mets is next level.
Blossom1961
Member
2 years ago
@Cath62 Me Too
Cath62
Member
2 years ago
I don't think symbols are a sign of a measure of care but rather a measure of respect and as someone with mets, I would like that respect.
Afraser
Member
2 years ago
As with @gumnut, I am not a big fan of symbols - they matter immensely to some and irritate others. It is always sad when someone we 'knew', if only through this important link, dies. I don't think a symbol measures care. Thank you for the information.
Cath62
Member
2 years ago
Beautiful words @arpie
FLClover
Member
2 years ago
That’s lovely @arpie 🌸. I feel so sad about Wendy 😢. I hope she’s in a happy place now 🤍.
arpie
Member
2 years ago
This very much reflected Wendy's Spirit ..... It couldn't have been written any better ...

She didn’t want to be the strong one, she just did what she had to do to survive.
She wouldn’t call it being strong, she’d just say that she was being herself.
There were so many hard days that she didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to show up and just didn’t have it..
But she did anyways, most of the time with a smile on her face.
She never really understood why everyone leaned on her so heavily, because she didn’t think herself any different than anyone else.
She didn’t worry about what challenges or hard days lie ahead..she was always up to the task.
She may stumble through some and get lost a time or two, but she always figured it out.
She didn’t know how strong she was until being strong was her only option.
She chose each and every day to get up when she fell,
Find a way when she failed and always made it to the top of the mountain she was trying to climb.
It wasn’t easy and it was usually painful, but she took it all and kept going..
That’s just who she was.
She had that special something that pushed her to keep going when every ounce of her spirit screamed to quit.
She couldn’t tell you why she was the way she was until one day, it dawned on her.
Her path had never been easy and it had its fair share of bruises and scrapes along the way, but she always managed to push through it all.
When she was tired, when she was weary, when she was bruised..she kept going.
No excuses, regrets or apologies.
She was the one of a kind brave soul that did whatever it took to be strong.
They’d look at her and marvel at her courage, strength and bravery, saying she was just born that way.
She’d smile graciously at their compliments.
She knew no one was born strong.
You either fight, struggle and overcome ..or you quit.
She didn’t choose her path, it chose her.
She carried the light for others so that they, too, could find their strength.
She was brave, courageous and strong for herself and all the others in her life that needed her to be.
She was and would always be a warrior..
And as she always did,
she smiled and kept going.
Mez_BCNA
Community Manager
2 years ago
We would love your feedback @Vangirl even with the survey closed, I can pass on your thoughts in relation to how profile management. Send me a private message if you like