Forum Discussion
Formymum19
6 years agoMember
Mum recently diagnosed
Hey all,
I've joined this forum in the hopes of connecting with others.
My mum is 69, diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago and now has been diagnosed with metastatic BC in spine and possibly lungs (they arent 100% sure on the lungs) as the spots are so small.
Shes started oral chemo and hormone therapy today and will see the oncologist again in 5 weeks.
She seems to be handling it well so far but she's not feeling sick or anything yet so i guess time will tell.
Im sure its going to be a long journey and I'll be here to support her every step of the way. I currently live with my mum so im glad Im here to be there for her.
I just wanted to pop in and say hi.
I've joined this forum in the hopes of connecting with others.
My mum is 69, diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago and now has been diagnosed with metastatic BC in spine and possibly lungs (they arent 100% sure on the lungs) as the spots are so small.
Shes started oral chemo and hormone therapy today and will see the oncologist again in 5 weeks.
She seems to be handling it well so far but she's not feeling sick or anything yet so i guess time will tell.
Im sure its going to be a long journey and I'll be here to support her every step of the way. I currently live with my mum so im glad Im here to be there for her.
I just wanted to pop in and say hi.
60 Replies
- @Formymum19 so lovely you came back to update us and tell us how you are getting on. Take care and stop by any time here. xx
- Cath62MemberThank you @Formymum19. It is so lovely of you to touch base with us and tell us how you are going. I think all the things you are doing sound just right for both you and your mum. I think she would be very proud of you. Hope on to those precious memories. Best wishes 💐
- arpieMemberBeautifully said @Formymum19 - you've been a wonderful daughter & helped your Mum thru her worst days ..... big hugs and condolences again on your Mum's passing xx How wonderful that her Hospice stay was so caring & pain free.
Grieving takes so many forms and seeing your Mum 'in yourself' will be an ongoing process - I see my Mum every time I look in the mirror now (yet I never really thought I looked like her!) I think with you doing stuff around the house, keeping some bits & preparing it for sale, it will be quite comforting in it's own way for you too - and helps keep you busy too. xx
Take care, - FLCloverMemberBig hugs @Formymum19. It’s nice you’re keeping some of her things. I think they’ll be a great comfort ♥️♥️
- Formymum19MemberI just realised I haven't come back to thank you all for the kind words. We have such a beautiful community here.
The last few months have been really rough but I'm taking it day by day.
Mums funeral was in January and was a small beautiful service that she would have loved. Her ashes will be scattered in wildflower season here in WA as she requested.
She currently hangs out on top of the piano (that she adored) next to a photo of her.
I'm living in her house until it is sold, thats been pretty difficult but i think it has also helped in some ways.
I've fixed up a few things and I have regrets that I didn't do them for her while she was alive (basic maintenance stuff)
When her home is sold, it will be very bitter-sweet. She lived in this house since 1985. I grew up here, my sister grew up here and my brother for some of his life. She put her heart and soul into this house and did so much DIY, in mum fashion alot of it remained unfinished (this house was a fixer upper back in 1985 and it's beyond help now)
I plan to keep a few things from the house to put in my future home which will help me feel close to her i guess.
Grief is a funny thing, people say it comes and goes in waves and I see that now, I had a pretty good week the other week, for the first time in months and i looked at my toes and i have the same toes as her and it hit me that, despite that shes gone, a part of her lives on in me, it was a beautiful moment, small but significant.
I want to take a second to acknowledge the hospice and staff. Mum was a public patient and went to a hospice that was for public and private patients and the facility was lovely. This place was basically a 4 star motel, room service, amazing staff.
It was an honour to be able to be there for her in her final days and hours. She was comfortable and free of pain (she loved the morphine) mum was very drug cautious her whole life and when they gave her some morphine she was as high as a kite and we had a good laugh about it.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this, for all your lovely kind words.
I miss her alot but i take so much comfort in knowing shes at peace and hopefully has an endless supply of books, ginger beer and coffee icecream wherever she is. - cranky_grannyMember@Formymum19 so sorry to hear about your mum. Take all the time you need to grieve we each do it in our own way. Take those good memories you have and bring them out when things get hard.
20 years on and they still come in handy for me. Especially at this time of year. - June1952MemberDear @Formymum19
This is a very sad time for your family and we all who have lost our Mums know exactly how you feel. Whilst people say "it was to be expected" that does not help, does it ?
Remember that she is now at peace and nothing and no-one can take away the wonderful memories you have in your heart.
Thinking of you and your family. 💖 - arpieMemberI am so sorry to read of your Mum’s passing @Formymum19. My deepest condolences to you and your sister at this sad time. Xx You were both there for her and comforted her in her hours of need ... be kind to yourselves and be there for each other.
Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, if necessary ... our thoughts are with you xx
take care - Cath62MemberOh @Formymum19, I am so sorry to hear the news of your mum's passing. You are a wonderful daughter and I am sure your mum appreciated all the support you gave her. It is a hard time of year to loose a loved one. Your mum is free of all this disease and pain. Her love for you will always be with you in your heart. Step by step you will get through these days ahead. Keep the love in your heart with all the fond memories. Those memories will stay forever. 💐
- Julez1958MemberMy heart goes out to you at this time.
Your mum was lucky to have your love and support through her journey.
Your grief is raw , be kind to yourself.
🌺