My heart goes out to you in your situation.
I cannot pretend to fully understand how you feel, I am still only in early stages of treatment and do not yet know the full extent of my cancer. At this stage, not metastatic.
Having a loved one snap at you when you are feeling so vulnerable and fragile can devastate you, I know. It plunges me into depression.
I do feel that what your husband said is quite unforgivable.
Yes, he is probably also feeling the stress of your diagnosis, the fear of the Unknown, the strain of constantly knowing he might lose you, and I am assuming you otherwise have a good relationship.
That he said that and your feelings of desperation and isolation, indicates to me that you both need counselling. Can you access that? You really need to talk this out with someone who can help, even if he won't come too.
Most Cancer Centres have free counselling services, your area McGrath breast care nurse can also arrange it.
As the wife of a child with a mother with a terminal disease, I suggest that perhaps your daughter overseas is connecting with you by sharing what is going on in her life, maybe she feels that her feelings of enjoyment and describing the lovely things she is doing will lift your spirits, that is what my husband thought when he sent cards and letters to his mother while we were overseas.
Unfortunately she didn't see it that way either, and felt he didn't care as he didn't ask how she was. Even though she told him each time they spoke that she didn't want to talk about her health?????
While I feel the need to wrap you in a warm sisterly hug, I also feel the need to remind you that expecting everyone to be cheerful and happy with you is unrealistic.
They are only human too and will feel angry, despairing, sad and impatient with life and this disease too. Families suffer with it in different ways, but it affects everyone.
Please seek out a counsellor to help you, no one should feel alone and unsupported with this horrid disease, they can help you to find the comfort and understanding that you need.
I am sending you as much big sisterly support as I can to help you through this.
