Forum Discussion
3rd time - not so lucky .....
In 2003, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my right breast. Lumpectomy (removal of lymph nodes which showed 6/15 were cancerous), followed by partial mastectomy due to non-clear margins (I did raise the question of a full mastectomy however my surgeon said "You are 37, young - I would advise against it).I underwent chemo & handled this relatively well, all things considering, then radiotherapy.
My eldest son was just 5 - in kindergarten and my youngest was 2. I was petrified not simply for my own life, but for that of my little boys. Would I ever get to see them finish school. Both them and my wonderful husband gave me a reason to get back to "some kind of normal". The fear or recurrence would crop up, especially around the anniversary of diagnosis. I would dread July.
There was no history of breast cancer in my family - until my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 just after her 70th birthday.
In 2007, regular mammogram and ultrasound done - whilst it was not picked up on the mammogram, ultrasound detected another lump in the same breast, near my chest wall. Full removal of my right breast - yet again not a sign in the left breast. I underwent bone scans, CT scans - no spread again. After the complete initial shock, we breathed a sigh of relief. The fear of "what would I do if it ever returned" had now become a reality. Oh, and our youngest son had started kindergarten - what was it about breast cancer and kindergarten. We joked and said thank goodness we only have 2 children !
Our lives ambled along and my health continued on a stable plane.
In 2012, Mum was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in the bones. She was 76 years old. The fear again was felt throughout the whole family. I underwent regular scans - bone scans, CT scans etc - all clear.
In 2014, Mum lost her battle and we in turn lost our Mum. Being prepared makes it no easier - just gives you the opportunity to say our goodbyes.
Last year in September, 6 weeks before my 50th birthday and 3 weeks before our eldest son was to sit his HSC, my persistent back pain turned out to be metastatic breast cancer in the bones. Shock, fear, grief - it just came in waves. Our first priority was to assure our boys that yes, like their Nan, I too have secondary breast cancer but I am fitter than she was and 26 years younger when diagnosed. I have had radiotherapy - on & off from October to February. Given the persistent pain in my leg and my upcoming bone scan this week, I may need more. I am taking aromasin, everolimus, with denosomaub every 3 months now given plummeting calcium levels and a 3 week stay in hospital earlier this year.
I have the most incredible support from my husband, 2 teenage sons (who have had to deal with way too much at a young age) and wonderful, beautiful friends and family.
I was inspired to join the online network after attending the forum last week. Thanks for the opportunity to meet so many inspiring ladies and support people and those who work in the field.
My wish is for everyone to see love, laughter and happiness in everyday.
Sheryl x
My eldest son was just 5 - in kindergarten and my youngest was 2. I was petrified not simply for my own life, but for that of my little boys. Would I ever get to see them finish school. Both them and my wonderful husband gave me a reason to get back to "some kind of normal". The fear or recurrence would crop up, especially around the anniversary of diagnosis. I would dread July.
There was no history of breast cancer in my family - until my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 just after her 70th birthday.
In 2007, regular mammogram and ultrasound done - whilst it was not picked up on the mammogram, ultrasound detected another lump in the same breast, near my chest wall. Full removal of my right breast - yet again not a sign in the left breast. I underwent bone scans, CT scans - no spread again. After the complete initial shock, we breathed a sigh of relief. The fear of "what would I do if it ever returned" had now become a reality. Oh, and our youngest son had started kindergarten - what was it about breast cancer and kindergarten. We joked and said thank goodness we only have 2 children !
Our lives ambled along and my health continued on a stable plane.
In 2012, Mum was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in the bones. She was 76 years old. The fear again was felt throughout the whole family. I underwent regular scans - bone scans, CT scans etc - all clear.
In 2014, Mum lost her battle and we in turn lost our Mum. Being prepared makes it no easier - just gives you the opportunity to say our goodbyes.
Last year in September, 6 weeks before my 50th birthday and 3 weeks before our eldest son was to sit his HSC, my persistent back pain turned out to be metastatic breast cancer in the bones. Shock, fear, grief - it just came in waves. Our first priority was to assure our boys that yes, like their Nan, I too have secondary breast cancer but I am fitter than she was and 26 years younger when diagnosed. I have had radiotherapy - on & off from October to February. Given the persistent pain in my leg and my upcoming bone scan this week, I may need more. I am taking aromasin, everolimus, with denosomaub every 3 months now given plummeting calcium levels and a 3 week stay in hospital earlier this year.
I have the most incredible support from my husband, 2 teenage sons (who have had to deal with way too much at a young age) and wonderful, beautiful friends and family.
I was inspired to join the online network after attending the forum last week. Thanks for the opportunity to meet so many inspiring ladies and support people and those who work in the field.
My wish is for everyone to see love, laughter and happiness in everyday.
Sheryl x
18 Replies
- Hi Sheryl, Am crossing fingers for you that your higher markers are indeed related to the mouth ulcers (happens with blood sugars and infections with diabetes so why not BC). As for wasting precious energy worrying - you have every right to be worried whether it ends up being justified or not (hopefully not!) This disease is certainly not a stroll in the park. Big hugs Xx Cath
- Hey @ElaineG - interesting that I have responded on your recent post headed "how long" and getting an answer - when I came across your response re: my discussion. Yep, remaining active and moving is the key, isn't it ? Well meaning people keep suggesting to "sit down, relax" when in actual fact it is better to keep moving. You are so right in that we are not victims, we are women - of various ages and stages - who have secondary breast cancer that is not curable but the emphasis is on living. We don't want platitudes or slogans, we just want to lead a normal life in between "treat, scan and repeat" as pink66 said. Best wishes to you. Sheryl xx
- Dear Sheryl and other ladies
I could only begin to imagine the terror, fear, shock etc of discovering it after your mum and earlier Diagnosis.
i won't repeat my long hx (diagnosed upfront feb this yr - well 1 wk after st 2)....bc I've done Lo g post under Karen's 'cancer is part of me'
a brilliant bk I'm reading is 'the reality slap' - dr Russ Harris - very pragmatic about 'acceptance' - witihout sounding glib it does help with processing our situation (despite us all being diff ages, treatment regimes etc)
like you Sheryl, my children are relatively young - 10 & 8, son is now 11 & daughter 9 - AND I'm single....
thats been hard in evenings - questioning everything including "plans".....
but the children know & ustand that the focus is on living WITH cancer...
still WIP
its riddled thru all my bones so am trying to keep up exercise which helps - defiance if nothing else!
oh and I did go skiing in Aug - it was like 'God - you may give me cancer - but I can still ski (if took me a wk+ to recover!
So in the scheme of things I'm going ok apart from feeling lethargic & overwhelmed with fatigue on some days.
i absolutely love reading all the posts and to connect.
best wishes, Elaine - Thank you Sheryl for your kind words and yes your right the breast care nurse has been truly wonderful . And also thanks for the suggestion of a body pillow I will get one tomorrow any thing that can help at all will be good .
- Just as another update @Sowelu, with your friend's surgery looming next week, I found that a body pillow, similar to that targeted to pregnant women, was really handy. You can move it around and snuggle into it, swap it from side to side as getting comfortable can be so difficult. These are available in K_Mart, along with their covers so that they can be washed and interchanged so that you are never without it !
Hi @Sowelu - please don't even apologise or asking if we mind you coming onto the site - everyone who offers support is always welcome on the forum - as I have seen from all of the posts so far ! I found that in addition to Ann-Marie giving you an update on what is available on their website, our wonderful breast care nurse provided us with information that is relevant to children of various ages and stages. It was noted that we received very different information targeted to young school age children in 2003 and then very different (more specific) information last year. Given your earlier information, it sounds as though your friends breast care nurse may be the best source.
You will provide wonderful support to your friend I am sure - we are all lucky to have such dear friends and fabulous husbands.
My very best wishes to your friend and of course, if she has any questions, am more than happy to help as most forum members would be.
Sheryl
- Thank you I'll look now .
- @Sowelu welcome to the online network. I wanted to let you know our website has information around family, friends and children. You may also find this resource helpful from the Cancer Council. The members are wonderful and will be able to provide you with some more support. Also check out the Category - Supporting someone with breast cancer.
Ann-Marie - I hope you won't mind my post here , I do not have breast cancer myself but My dear friend has recently( two weeks ) been diagnosed with breast Cancer and is only a week away from a mastectomy . I was with her when she recieve the news over the phone that her scans for secondary sites were clear . I was shocked that her surgeon had not arranged for this news to be given in person considering it could have gone either way and indeed my friend expected the news would not be good . Thankfully the breast cancer nurse consultant at our local hospital gave us an appointment to coincide with the phone call . This was actually a very good thing as it has created a connection and trust that will be needed in the coming months, so perhaps the seemingly inept Dr did my friend a favour, not that he suggested the involvement which I still feel very cross about .
While so relieved at this time that the cancer has not apparently spread the dreadful prospect of surgery next week is now looming . My friend has her husband her mum and I to provide as much support and love as we can and I hope that my friend will join you on this site in the future however for now any advice you can offer me about what may help and things that can be less helpful will be really welcome . In particular if any of you know any good really simple resources for very young children as my friend also has a five year old son who as yet knows nothing . His Mum and Dad will be telling him before her surgery but as they have just moved house this week and he school too it has been necessarily avoided . My friend is especially struggling with how to go about this so if you have experience that could be helpful or know of good resources I would be able to pass them on as she cannot at this time ask this for herself . - sorry to hear you lost your mum, and hope you can find comfort in the memories of time spent with her. March on, as we all must. Sending you best wishes and strength for this next stage of your life. Jane
