The gift that keeps giving 😞

Simon

@kmakm .  You never know your luck.  I have two that left home, well one got a boot out but rebounded for a while. Eldest stepdaughter at 22 (I thought she would be here till she was 30) second stepdaughter moving out on Saturday at 20.  One of my twins will probably be here for a while and the other one is sort of half here and half at the boyfriends.  I would say she will move soon (she is 20) It all happened within 6 months! Somewhat sad in one way but there is a little part of me that is just a tad excited after all these years of looking after an army. You know what I mean.

Typical, finally get the house to ourselves at times and the love lifes a little on the ho hum side.  Doubt there's going to be any swinging from the chandeliers. :smile:

Retirement, that sounds nice.  I just put in for three weekends work in a row and booked a day of lessons this weekend which will not be pleasant given the fact that I can't be in the sun for long these days without just about fainting.  Anyway no rest for the wicked huh.  Tahiti looks nice................. 

It's that everyone else gets to do @"Kiwi Angel".

Retirement????? What’s that????  ;)

@lrb_03 @Sister No hope of retirement here either. My husband had hopes of retiring at 65 but that's gone now, due to both my BC and my sister's. It will be a minimum of 70 for him. I will have to get a job as soon as I am able and as he retires I will have to keep working. We took on extra debt to renovate our home to accommodate the three extra people cancer gave us, and then my BC used all of our meagre, but important, reserves. Our mortgage is nowhere close to being paid off now.

It's a collection of circumstances that contributes to my anxiety and depression. By the time my husband and I reach a point where we can 'relax', if we make it that far, the sands in the hourglass will be running out. It's challenging to look at a future that just contains endless work, old age and death. It's unlikely we'll ever be alone in our home together. Kids these days can't/don't leave home until their late 20s and then they boomerang anyway. When my niece is 28 my husband will be 80...

I know there will more than likely be joy along the way. The prospect of grandchildren is fun. But gee, at 52, it's tough to look at that life stretching in front of me and realise most of the good times are behind me.

My husband is incredible, an absolute saint. He works so hard. I feel so guilty for saddling him with a family riddled with trauma, cancer, genetic mutations, depression and now an AI bundle of decrepitude. For better and for worse eh?

The end result is that I think I'm getting better at living in the moment, being more present. It is what it is and I have to try to make the best of it. I have to rest my hopes and efforts not so much on myself but on making a better life for the next generation. I'd dearly love to hope that medical science will remove this cancer scourge from their lives and dreams. Reckon there's some fundraising in my future!

Our focus does change once we've been on this rollercoaster for awhile!
We have retired recently and now find that is the best thing we have done in a long time! We are not retirement age however we felt it was time given the hurdles of BC! 
It is time for us and our well being - it takes some time to adjust!  Hubby now finds himself with a medical file he never had, tests to be done as precautionary because of family history - the last of those tests today!  
After that it is about us and keeping my BC at bay the best we can and keeping stress out of our everyday!  I am convinced that my very stressful work life contributed to my BC and it would take some talking to convince me otherwise!

The collection of specialists along the way are looking after me medically, Breast surgeon, Medical Oncologist, Gynaecology Oncologist, Remedial Therapist, Physiotherapist, Breast care nurse, Neurosurgeon, Ophthalmologist and my blessed GP and we are looking after me emotionally!

Another blood test tomorrow to make sure everything is on track!

Time to reflect on where you have been and assess where you are going and how to achieve - sometimes you have to shut one door before another opens

Take care and sending hugs to all 

@Sister, I can't see ever being able to afford to retire, with the ongoing costs of side effects of treatment. It never seems to end

Sometimes it seems that all I do is live to work - it takes so much out of me.  I had thought that I might work at this level for a few years until the kids finished school and then attempt to get back into a management role but I honestly can't see it happening.  I love my work but right now, all I want in the future is retirement (can't see that happening, either).

One of the ongoing joys of bc @melclarity @lrb_03

Oh, @melclarity, you are so right. I, too, suffer from pain as a result of radiotherapy,  something I don't remember being mentioned, although it may have been. I work only 4 days/week now, and that's more than enough physically. Financially, I could probably do with the extra days pay, but then I'd end up with a lot of sick  leave to get to appointments.

My medical oncologist does at least acknowledge some of my now chronic joint issues, and check how I'm managing at each appointment

This is a post that recently came up on my Facebook feed.

metro.co.uk/2017/11/21/why-the-trauma-of-cancer-doesnt-end-after-treatment-7094279/?fbclid=IwAR0pBrqYSXtO8xwImdNYrhOY4qNfejHykozZp1dnqWsyX6h6ibpcFNiJM-0

It demonstrates exactly your point, @Zoffiel, and again reminds me of how lucky I've been in my life, to receive the education that has given me those transferrable skills, to have had supportive workplaces, through treatment and since, and also to know the support available here, on this forum.