Still feeling discombobulated!

Thank you @Afraser
i will think about buying a wig, I would like to go back to work but I dread being pitied so a wig will solve that problem.  Did you find the wig itchy, specially in summer.

Take care ... all the best xx

Everyone should make their own choices but one of the reasons I bought a wig was to stop being immediately identified as a ‘cancer victim’, a term I loathe, because of hair loss. I’m not much for ‘cancer battler’ either! I looked perfectly well through treatment otherwise and while I was happy to tell friends and colleagues, I wanted the option to
tell or not. There are hair libraries available so you can try one out at little/no cost. It just might help. Best wishes. 

@Spillsy
i was diagnosed late 2019 and I am currently undergoing chemo. I still have radiation and one year of Herceptin to get through but I can totally understand your feelings.  My best friend is very stressed by my cancer and has stopped communicating with me.  I don’t like going out because I feel everyone looks at me with pity because they know I have cancer due to my hair loss, and that makes me more depressed than my actual treatment.
Like you @Spillsy, I am also constantly amazed how wonderful and supportive everyone on this network is, so many of you have finished active treatment but you are still logging on and offering advice and support to others. I feel like I have another online family. 

@Spillsy, I hear you!  I only stopped treatment (radiation) in August 2019 and the specialist appts in December 2019.  I am still navigating my way in this new world, I feel lost sometimes and like a misfit. 
At the end of treatment, I felt so different to the old me that I was sure I was losing my mind, I kept withdrawing and was introverted for the first time in my life I think! Frankly it was scary.

I lost a few friends along this path - not bothered, gained a few new ones from Breast Clinic - awesome ladies, so grateful to have found them.

I have taken the advice from the previous posters about concentrating on my diet, I lost 14 kgs during treatment and everyone keeps negatively commenting but Im just eating better and less, would like to put on a couple of kilo especially on my skinny legs lol but maybe later.

I cherish the good days or moments when I feel like a normal person and some days they just aren't there.  I put myself first a lot now which took a bit of getting used to.
 
I think it will be a slow process, I still slide down into dark places but with the help of a great pyschologist and the ladies on this forum, I feel much more at peace and seem to get through those times better.  

I hope things pick up for you soon, know that we are all cheering you on xx

Oh my gosh, 
what amazing, empathetic, and motivating responses, I love you women, you all get it totally and you know how to raise my spirits. 
Other people, I know, don’t understand, the turmoil and impact that cancer has on us. 

I had an easier time of it, as I was able to continue working during treatment and life for the first 12 months had a lot of ‘normality’. Nevertheless, after 12 months, I changed my job to a new, challenging one but on a 4 day week basis, started regularly going to the gym, philosophy classes and a local choir! A brush with cancer can bruise deep, it can daunt your energy and enthusiasm but it may also act as a trigger for doing new things, making new friends and re-evaluating what makes you happy. It surprised me to realise how little I thought about being happy - I certainly wasn’t unhappy before bc, far from it, but I place a higher value on some inner sense of contentment these days. Best wishes. 

Agree wholeheartedly on the focus of yourself and well being, physical and mental as you come to grips with where you are at.  Prior to my BC diagnosis I was in a good place, health and fitness had improved immensely and I had lost 15kgs.  What I did come to realise was that state of good place helped me through my BC journey.  Now I am on the other side of it and like most, niggling issues as a result of BC and treatment and unexpected surgery for something totally different, I have found that improving my health and well being is the priority and helps me to be me rather than the BC woman.
Yes I lost friends along the way but as they say

 

Although you maybe feeling as flat as a tack at present if you just take a little step forward then hopefully the one step forward, two steps backwards will subside and it will be steps forward

Take care and best wishes

From my experience (2 bouts of bc) it takes around 2yrs to feel confident in your health and get back some normality in life. You lose some friends but that’s ok because you meet other terrific women on your bc journey. 
After my 2nd bout of bc I went abit crazy and reinvented myself.Sick of feeling like the bc victim,I quit my job of 16yrs and then sold my house to downsize.Then my husband and I went on a trip to Europe.Now I’m not recommending you do all that but use this time to take stock and see if you need to make any  life changes. Good advice from primek to focus on your health and weight.Our bodies take a beating from all that bc treatment and we need to nurture ourselves.Most of us will never be quite the same again and that takes awhile to come to terms with.You are not alone.xx

I'm still upended @Spillsy. I finished in May 2018. Since getting my antidepressant dose right in October 2019 I feel like I'm on firmer footing which is a big help. I'm also seeing a clinical psychologist regularly, and exercising (pilates and yoga) three to four times a week. Like @primek the latter has given me something good on which to focus, and you can achieve tangible results.

I still have a ways to go. This is not a quick process for many of us. You're not alone, hang in there. Big hug, K xox