No comfort

@AllyJay I love the analogy! :)

I've put this up before, but it's still relevant.

I experienced similar and some were just so kind and some are fair weather friends.  It does really show you the worse side of some humans :)

I think i can choose to reach out to them. I could also chose not to. It is hard to know if Im even inventing something in my head. But I know I am filtering my discussion where previously i didnt. In carefree days. Its hard to forget some careless or insensitive comments. I know I would have behaved differently if it was one of them. 

There are some who were not as close who were unexpectedly kind. 

@MicheleR you asked if we can have friends that we can't really talk to about everything.  I believe we can, as some people are just at a different stage in their life or have not experienced the same as us.  I have a friend that had breast cancer many years ago, and we lost contact when I moved away from that area about 9 years ago, but we have now reconnected.  It is amazing now how I can understand what she must have gone through, which was a few years before we had even met.  We now catch up every few months, and talk about many things, but when the topic of bc comes up she understands me, and knows what I am going through now as I am still on AI's, she finished hers years ago.  We mainly talk about our commonalities, and any shared interests.  

I don't bottle up things now, but at the same time I do choose my audience, I just don't think it realistic for people to get where I am coming from , or even any disappointments I may have had with some disappearing when I went through all my chemo and radiotherapy and infusions, now I just don't initiate the contact mostly, those who came back did, and those that didn't I say they were not true friends anyway!  I hope that helps you somewhat, and I understand having to find our path again, or find a new path.

Wishing you the best, and take care.

Hi @Michelle_R, yes it's confronting to find friends aren't quite the friends you thought they were, good news is you also find the ones who are, even if they aren't the ones you thought it would be.

Just surround yourself with those who support you now & deal with the others on your own terms when you are ready

Thanks to everyone who commented and those that contacted me personally. I know i can see a pyschologist but i always have these thoughts near a weekend! You guys are the best! Im working my way through my emotions with everyones comments and help.

I think where i have come to with the friends thing is that people sort of avoided me during chemo because they were uncomfortable. Knowing they are uncomfortable there is a whole part of my life I now cant really discuss. Can you have friends who you cant really talk to about everything? Im not sure. I guess you have different kinds of friends and can be aware of flaws within the friendship. Even my husband suffered by proxy - people stopped inviting us to stuff. We could potentially start inviting them but all is not well at home with one of my children.  Again because some of my friends have children the same age i cant talk about this because i need to protect my childs situation. Maybe it will pass. 

Hi @MicheleR  we have put our house up for sale, auction is in a couple of weeks, once sold my husband will leave his job and then after that we are planning on travelling around Australia in a caravan, stopping where we want and then eventually buying again and settling down when we are ready.  

Big life change but sometimes that is what is needed to get you back on track

Hi @Beaglemum,

Yes. Thats a really (i want to say brave but that makes it sound risky when not) excited life change you are having. 

What are you planning? 

Michele