Insulting and Judgmental Comments

I have never personally had any inappropriate comments from health professionals except when a relative took me to chemo one time, and engaged an oncology nurse in a conversation about euthanasia, and which types of cancers would warrant considering euthanasia.  All this conversation was taking place as I sat there having chemotherapy running through my veins.

Being proactive and our own advocate is important to the management of the many scans that we need 
I am lucky  to not have had insensitive comments during 12 years of constant scans and checkups for Mets bc.
What has been important to me is that I always explained that I have had  surgeries  they are confronting  . 

@Dh5Wy83 as a long term proponent of calling out crappy treatment I suggest you tell the next person who makes an inappropriate comment to pull their head in.

If you can firmly deliver 'Please do not .....' you can regain a lot of agency.

The key is to be polite while making it quite clear that you know they have breached policy and procedure.

Difficult when you just want to head butt them, I know

@Abbydog I wonder if sometimes relatives are trying to bring a bit of humor to the situation.  What an awful comment your sister made though.

The amount of times I had to stop myself from crying in front of people making fun of my situation still haunts me at times, and has affected quite a few friendships and family relationships that I now have to be very careful with what I share and with whom.  

I would have expected better from a health professional.
People really don't always think before speaking.
I told my sister that I was going to hospital in October for Stage 2 of my Breast Reconstruction.
It involved having tissue expanders removed and breast implants put in.
She said Oh, you're having a boob job. 
I'm sure she just wasn't thinking, but it was upsetting and annoying.

@Cath62 I wonder how uncomfortable that stupid girl would have felt if you had replied............ Oh Der!

Some can be either condescending or just plain stupid, couldn't she see what you had already been through?  Good you gave her the death stare.  

I have mammograms yearly now, so I am very, very polite to the mammo lady who is about to squash my boobs between the plates..... heehee :) I am getting better at choosing my battles :)

Oh dear @Dh5Wy83 this is hard isn't it. I have felt like that too. Once I lost it at someone and cried they did my ultrasound.

A stupid girl without inexperience got to me because she asked me if I did breast examinations. Was she kidding I almost did a breast examination every day after bread cancer. I was lying on the ultrasound table with my lopsided breasts. Shit I couldn't believe it. I was weeping but angry too. 

My answer to her was to asked that girl what she would do in terms of a breast examination if she had breast cancer. She didn't know what to say and so she asked me again. Was she serious. I gave her a death stare. She wanted to know if I wanted to stop the ultrasound. I said no but I wanted a different person to do it. That happened and the owner of that business got feedback. Funny I have never seen her again. 

If you are feeling people are inappropriate and sick of being polite try saying what you want and see if that works better for you. Giving feedback is a good way to vent too. 

If they have got foot in mouth disease, they may very well not know, so you can "politely" tell them it isn't "polite" to assume because you see a scar on my tummy, that I have had a tummy tuck!   

When we are not well, we are vulnerable, tired and weak and often we are "more" polite because we don't have the energy nor inclination to correct people the same way we may when we are not in a vulnerable position, I get that! 

But if these comments are happening quite a bit to you @Dh5Wy83 be prepared with a response.  It is OK to tell them what the scar is from, because after all they are doing the tests and want to know what he scar is a result of, unfortunately they have jumped to conclusions which is not professional at all.   

All the tests you are having are exhausting, so also give yourself some grace, and try not to let their comments get to you.  You have been through a lot and I hope you get to the bottom of your health concerns soon and get the treatment you need very soon.

I'm tired of having to be polite.
I am tired of having to be the person who is always understanding of other people and their feelings.
I am tired of having to deal with "well meaning people".
It's exhausting!

All I feel like doing is crying and screaming from the top of my lungs.

They are being unprofessional, to put it mildly.  I agree with @Afraser with commenting politely of course on the unprofessionalism they are displaying.  

It is bad enough with people we know friends/acquaintances making ridiculous comments, but we should not expect those comments coming from the medical people that are testing / treating us.  Take care and just make sure you have the last say when they make these presumptions about any of your scars.  It would really annoy me also to be honest.  A tummy tuck is presuming you wanted cosmetic surgery to flatten your tummy, perhaps they could have just asked you what was the scar from.  

On a side note, the year before I was diagnosed with breast cancer I had some surgery on my thyroid, and I have a scar on my throat area, and I had a complete stranger ask me did I cut my throat.  I replied jokingly, yes I slit my throat. :)

What they are saying to you is not funny, but you could also point out their stupidity of making such an assumption.  Wishing you all the best with your next appointment, and I hope you put them back in their place. xx