I hate cancer

Question

It has been some time since I have posted anything. To start with it was simply because I needed time to heal. Recovering from treatment and the loss of my dad took its toll, then my mother’s health took a turn for the worse and I lost her just before Covid hit our shores. Thinking that things could surely not get much worse, my husband, 18 year old daughter and I had no idea just how easily a cancer diagnosis can change lives so easily…again. On the 20th of February I received my 5 year all clear, my husband however received his terminal diagnosis for throat cancer and it was our 24th wedding anniversary. My husband lost his battle with cancer on the 3rd of May, we actually never received a prognosis for his disease and I am left in shock as to how quickly he left us. I don’t mean to sound so negative because I understand that people come to this sight looking for help and guidance as I have over the years. We are so lucky to have a resource like BCNA, it helps inform and share experiences. There is so much information lacking for so many other cancers. I am terribly sad and broken but at the same time know that I could never have managed my own journey with cancer without the support that this resource offers and the knowledge I have learned from BCNA has at times also been invaluable in trying to support my husband with his battle.

iserbrown · Answer

@Piccme Oh crumbs!&nbsp; Can't imagine for one moment how you and your daughter are coping.&nbsp;&nbsp;Thank goodness you got the 5 year all clear as you and your daughter grieve and support each other through the trauma of losing those near and dear.&nbsp; May your tears in time accompany smiles as you reminisce.&nbsp; Memories to treasure&nbsp;Sending you a virtual hug&nbsp;

julez1958 · Answer

Hi @Piccme
You certainly have had a bad trot!
Three points from me:
1. agree this forum is a great resource and source of comfort for all those diagnosed with breast cancer.
2.for many of us ( which was certainly the case for me) a breast cancer diagnosis results in a “ re calibration” of what is important in ones life ( for example I have finally learnt to say “ no”).
3. you mention you have an 18 year old daughter - this will be a blessing and a motivation to cherish what you have and try and move forward for her sake . I lost my father to a sudden heart attack when I was 15 - I remember having a family meeting with my mum and sister who was 17 and after we hatched a plan not to lose the roof over our head we actually became much closer and stronger.

I still shed a tear and often at the most random of times ( like at the supermarket checkout) and that’s normal after any loss let alone the losses you have suffered but we humans are a resilient lot so you will get through it .

Take care and get your GP to give you a mental health plan to see a psychologist if you think you need it - I had a couple is sessions and found them quite useful .

Take care.
🌺🌺

zoffiel · Answer

Oh, @Piccme what wretched run you have had. Our own cancer experiences do give us some useful tools. Even if blissful ignorance would be preferable. MXX

cath62 · Answer

Oh @Piccme, I am so sorry to hear your loss. How heartbreaking for you and your daughter. It would have been such a shock. Grieve indeed and so you should. It's ok to be sad, angry, confused etc. This is such a hard time for you. No one can take away the pain of losing a loved one. Time is a healer and that pain will soften but we always miss our love ones. It is good to reach out here. Take care. Sending you a virtual hug 💐

arpie · Answer

Oh dear @Piccme - you have had a horrible couple of years what with losing your Mum & Dad and now the sudden passing of your beloved husband is absolutely heartbreaking xxx. We are so sad for you and your daughter. xx

It is comforting to know that you got the 5 year, all clear xx

Grief knows no bounds - it is the price we pay for loving someone so much xx

Thinking of you xx

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