How to prioritise self care?

I don't know the answers to this ginormous shitfest, as I don't walk in your shoes. Someone posted something along the lines of part of this, that is, a surly, rude entitled teenage girl. Something about a mobile phone was mentioned, and I expressed astonishment that this ill mannered teen still had the phone. The stunning scream of silence which followed, gave me the impression that other members did not agree with my old fashioned approach. I have no idea about her issues of loss and abandonment she has regarding the loss of her mother. I also have no idea about what life lessons her mum left her with, and if she was mature enough to absorb them. I also gather from your post that therapists are part of your family strategies of coping with all these complex and tangled issues. If the back ground issues for her weren't there, I would do as I would have done if either of my offspring had tried this on me in their teen years. Take away anything which has value to them, such as mobiles, computers, make up, jewellery, access to tv and so on for which you have paid. Also allowance or pocket money. She would get the bare essentials, such as school uniform, clean undies and regular (not high fashion) clothing and shoes. Strict curfew, school or home...that's it. No socialising at all. I'm afraid I was never a pushover for teens, I made it quite clear, I was their mother, not their slave or servant. I told them that relationships were a two way street and asked if they would remain friends with someone who treated them the way they were treating me? Perhaps say to her that it appears obvious that she hates living with you and I'm sure you get the "You're not my mother, so don't tell me what to do", or something along those lines. Do some research on someone like Barnado's or similar foster home entities and print it off. Hand her the info and offer to drop her and her attitude off to them. Perhaps she would prefer a group home or foster care? Put the ball in her court and if she tries to call your bluff, don't blink first. I'm sure she will realise which side her bread is buttered on and will reign in her outrageous attitude. This is only my opinion and is in no way meant as a criricism of you or your family. You are so incredibly loving and giving to have taken on this huge load when you yourself were grieving the loss of your sister, closely followed by your own diagnosis. I wish I could help in some way, but all I can really do is to acknowledge your anguish and send you a hug. Ally.