Sorry, don’t have a wand but you really do have a lot to deal with. First of all, cut the guilt. You are trying to cope with difficult circumstances when you are under par, you have nothing to feel guilty about and those feelings don’t help you in any way.
Second, have you tried any other AI? Those side effects are debilitating and I too would be nervous about adding other meds on top to try and counter the side effects. What does your oncologist say? He/she should take this seriously. You might discuss stopping the AIs for a limited time , to see how you feel, recover some balance in your life and try again. Sleep deprivation makes almost anything much more difficult.
Your husband is coping, which is good, but remember that everyone’s experience of cancer can be very different. My husband had bowel cancer, a few years after my diagnosis, managed chemo with few side effects (didn’t lose his hair!), soldiered on and has never looked back. Worrying for your husband too is natural but doesn’t really assist either of you.
Who can you talk to (in addition to here)? Your GP? Breast care nurse? Venting does help but so does letting your cares and worries out to someone in person with big enough shoulders and not loaded with their own problems. Or a professional counsellor - one of the other things you don’t always hear about is how cancer may affect your emotional life. It’s very normal when most of your givens have been turned upside down. I found a short spell with a smart counsellor immensely helpful about sorting out my priorities, the right way for me. And you’re right - putting stuff on paper, or a computer page, privately, can help too!
Most of all, be kind to yourself. Let your actions and thoughts be about making your world a little better, not exhausting all your energy. Best wishes.
