Hi,Found a book on kindle that others may relate to, its called "after breast cancer" by hester hill schnipper.Lately ive felt a bit isolated and unable to describe to others around me what im feeling and how what has happened has changed me. Im finished with the worst (i hope) of the treatment but im not feeling like its over. Today i was in a book shop and looking at the self help books i couldnt relate to any, when youve had cancer does anything else that you might worry about make sense any longer? I tried to explain this observation to my hubby but couldnt really get the point across. Even buying a cookbook is hard. Im avoiding anything faddy and it all seems a bit pointless somehow.Anyway, maybe others will also get sonething out of this book. Michele

Hi @MicheleR, I second @Afraser's suggestion of seeing a counsellor. After I'd finished all my stuff I was feeling totally fine...so fine that I convinced myself that it wasn't ok and I needed to see someone about it. I didn't know what to say in particular either so pretty much just said "I feel really ok and I think that's weird, am I weird? Do I need help?". The counsellor was excellent and asked some probing questions and after a couple of visits we concluded that yes, I'm totally weird. But I'm ok and my weirdness is just my "normal" lol. It was so bloody good though to talk it out with someone who didn't know me though, I really do recommend it.

Very nicely put @Mazbeth.I think everyone who has been through this becomes a sage in some way even if we cant express adequately. That understanding is priceless.There is a show on ABC right now called Lauras choice. I cant watch it. Its about an elderly lady who wants to voluntarily euthanase. I said to my hubby that it causes conflict for me because on one side i empathise with people chronically ill and on the other side i cant fathom giving away my life. He said he agreed with not giving away a life but i said no its more to me, ive just spent 9 months doing everything to stay alive and hanging with people in chemo who wish that they had the life they wanted. Oh he said. I have no doctor appts next week! I booked 3 exercise sessions instead!

I know how you feel @MicheleR. It is a hard feeling to describe. Thanks for the book recommendation. I hope it helps those feelings for you 💟

Can I suggest talking to a counsellor? These are very real feelings but they also may need some examination and resolution. With the best intentions in the world, those closest to you can’t help - they want you back to ‘normal’. No one at all can go back to what they were a year or more ago - we all change, it’s just that those changes are hard to notice, particularly for those who see us all the time. You need a disinterested professional to let you talk out how you are feeling and help you catch up with the changes you have experienced. Your breast care nurse or oncology nurse may be able to recommend someone experienced with post cancer recovery. Best wishes.

I’m not sure if this is helpful or not, but I watched a film recently (Aussie film- Palm Beach, it’s on Netflix at present ) where one of the characters (post breast cancer) says:”cancer gives you an unwanted clarity” and that really has resonated with me. I find that this line (and the thought behind it which has really put words around what’s going on) has helped me see what is actually happening and has happened. I found using this sentence with my husband and family has helped them to understand that something inside changed (with all the outside changes too) and that none of us are who we were only a few months ago when this all started (I’m in chemo now, with lots more to come) and isn’t who we will be when active treatment ends as this never ends and “normal” is only a cycle on the washing machine.

Feeling different after cancer | BCNA Online Network

MicheleR
Member
4 years ago
Oh. Thanks. Interesting.
arpie
Member
4 years ago
@MicheleR - it is such a strange beast, this bloody BC ..... the way it mucks with your brain is just incredible and horrible. But there IS help available ...... late last year, Monash University, together with psychiatrists and the Cancer Council, put together an online Support Network for FREE (available until Oct this year.) So long as you've finished your active treatment but can still be on AIs - you should be able to do the course!

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/22855/cancope-an-online-program-to-help-those-with-cancer-cope-both-emotionally-and-physically#latest

Technically it is aimed at regional people or those who are just unable to attend and you just need to have been thru your active treatment (ie not still having chemo, surgery or rads) but being on Tabs is fine.
Carissa_BCNA
Member
4 years ago
Hi @Sister and @MicheleR yes the link to last night's conference will be made available on our website www.bcna.org.au. It should be available from next week.
MicheleR
Member
4 years ago
Hi,

Yes i watched it. I missed charlotte as i had to puck a child up.

@Sister im guessing they will make it available via the site.

Michele
Sister
Member
4 years ago
I tried to watch it tonight but internet was dodgy as so will have to wait for a link to come out.
Anne65
Member
4 years ago
@MicheleR I'm a country girl so live in rural SA about 2 hours from Adelaide. Its a good thing I have family in Adelaide which helped a lot especially when I had to stay over for my rad treatment.
How fabulous was the online conference tonight & again Charlotte was amazing. I sat through the 4 hours very easily as it was so informative & empowering. I do hope you got a lot out of it & it has helped with how you are feeling at the moment. So much to take away from it! Take care & wishing you lots of love xx
MicheleR
Member
4 years ago
Hugs @Anne65 x
Where abouts in SA? Im from Marion.
Anne65
Member
4 years ago
@MicheleR Glad to hear that you are booked in too! I'm from SA so we will both be sitting at our computers at 4.30 with a coffee in hand!! I hope you get a lot out of it & it helps you to understand how you are feeling at the moment. Like you said, the ups & downs that we all go through. This will be the third time I get to hear from Charlotte. I also heard her on the last virtual conference & i also heard her live at a BCNA conference in Adelaide. She is amazing & has a BC story as well. I will be thinking of you this afternoon as we "sit together'. Lots of love & strength xxx
MicheleR
Member
4 years ago
Hi @Anne65,

Thank you. 😀 I am booked on that virtual conference. Looking forward to hearing from Charlottee also. I listened to the last virtual conference she was involved with.

Just ups and downs i think.
X
Anne65
Member
4 years ago
@MicheleR Sorry to hear you are feeling "out of sorts". I thought you may be interested in an online BCNA virtual conference that is on tomorrow arvo/evening called Living the best life you can with breast cancer. It goes for 4 hours & has many guest speakers...as you would expect, including my fave, Dr Charlotte Tottman. SA time is 4.30 to 8.30. I received an email from BCNA inviting me to register which I did. I thought this topic may help you at the moment as you try to deal with your "post cancer" feelings. If you are interested I can send you a link or maybe a facilitator can post the info on the forum. I am looking forward to it & hopefully I can last the 4 hours! Hope you are feeling better soon & please let me know if you want any info about the conference. Love & hugs. take care xxxx