To PrimeK, Afraser and Melinda, Thankyou for your sage advice. I was thinking some form of counselling was the way to go regardless of the cause as I've been convinced of the usefulness of being on femara, despite some pretty horrible potential side effects. It seems this cancer treatment is all about statistics and odds, sounds like the tab, and I've never been into gambling. As I also feel I've been robbed of much of the joy of living a dear friend gave me a book by Russ Harris called the Reality Slap. I'm slowly making my way through it, doing the tasks that pop up regularly, mindfulness is really what it is about. I think a meaningful chat along the way will help too. Job for tomorrow, organise that help, think I'll try the oncology support nurse where I went for treatment as she would know about the people on offer there before trying an avenue non cancer related. Thanks again, I hope you are all in a good head state, hugs to you all :)