Bit scared

Oh Christine, you poor thing. I want to cry after reading your words. It's SO not fair. But your comments remind me that no matter how tough things might be/feel, there is always someone worse off. 

The onc feels that it is probably nothing but I have to have a bone scan and ct done next week.  They wanted to do it this week but we had my "happy 50th birthday/ end of treatment" holiday booked for the last 6 months and I thought bugger it, I need this break, I deserve this break and I'm hopping off the  whole "what did I do to deserve this/cancer/ negative band wagon. So for a week I have decided that I'm just going to enjoy. I can't change anything that is going to happen so I'm going to enjoy my holiday.  So in other words, I'm putting my head in the sand and pretending it's not happening. 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and comments. Although I wish I was going through this on my own, it does help to know that others are going through the same things. 

Karen xox

Hi Christine,

Vent away!! You've come to the right place. I can't begin to understand everything you're going through.  Just glad you did because it puts things in perspective. 

Take care, Karen xx

Be honest doesn't it shit you that probably for the rest of our lives we will worry about every ache pain, lump etc. everyone says it will be ok but we deep in our minds always think the worst, we must be made of steel sometimes. I'm always glad when it's check up time just for the reassurance. My onco seen me this week it's 3 years and if it's not back yet that's good but I will be happy when you get to 5 years, yes me to . You my dear have just had one thing after another, you have every right to talk to yourself in the mirror, that's what I do LOL. Regards adean. Xx

Hi Karen,

Hang in there.  I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.  It's good the drs listened to you, it's a shame it's a long weekend which makes everything seem to drag on.  All the best for Thursday.  A friend of mine gave me rescue remedy and my sister has me doing mindfulness meditation on you tube, but I found going on this site to be the best for support, to vent my fears and ask advice.

Big cyber hug,

Karen xx

Oh Chris, I hope the biopsy comes back clear for you! The waiting certainly messes with your head doesn't it? Yes small steps is the way to go! Hang in there and let us know how you get on. Karen xox

Hi Karen. I know how you are feeling right now. I too had persistent bad back pain some months back...had a bone scan and it came back clear.!  I had a hysteroscopy last Friday, as a small 'spot' was noted on my utererus...back into theatre for a biopsy!! Just waiting now for the results. It is the awful 'waiting ' that is the worst. All we can do is take small steps forward. You have been through so much. Sending you lots of love and support. Chris.x

Hi Karen, I can't even imagine how you feel right now.  I just wanted to wish you the best for Thursday.  Take it easy until then.  Your cold is probably making you feel even worse and there are some rotten bugs around at the moment.  Sending you a cyber hug and positive thoughts.  Maureen

Hi Karen, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through a rough time at the moment. It's always in our minds isn't it? Any aches or pains sends the mind spinning. Sending you big hugs and wishing you all the best for Thursday,

Hazel xx

Hi girls, thanks for the reply's. Unfortunately my GP is now closed for the weekend so I will just have to manage the shingles and cold as best I can until Tuesday at least. I have a fabulous counsellor and I'm due to see her on Wendesday. The silly thing is that I grimaced when I moved and the onc nurse asked what was going on. It really was just an off the cuff remark that set all this in motion. It didn't occur to me to be worried and it was the onc nurses reaction that I think has spun me out. It probably is just the arthritis doing it's thing. I havent done too much today as I really do feel quite unwell. Snoozed and knitted is pretty much it. It feels better to have verbalised it. It seems a little less scary when you say it out loud. I do have rescue remedy and that seems to help settle the anxiety a bit. Thanks again so much for the support. Karen xox

Hi Karen, there's probably not much I can say that will make you feel better, just wanted to send you a big hug and wish you all the best for Thursday. I think we've all been where you have at some point so can understand your worry and anxiety, but hopefully it will all be ok. Jane xx