After a break, Letrozole, continued...
Drug holiday over, today I started taking Letrozole again. At night this time. Don't know that it will make any difference but worth a try. If/when (she said optimistically) the side effects return...
Forum Discussion
Well tonight my left big toe joint is throbbing with pain that is making me wince and draw breath. Fuck it!
I saw my psych today. Amongst other things we discussed acceptance, and understanding the trade off that taking the AI has engendered. I explained that while intellectually I completely understood and was willing to put up with an array of difficult side effects for the possibility of a longer life, emotionally I was drumming my feet into the floor screaming "it's not fair". Of course it's not fair, nothing is and I'd rather be having my current difficulties than be more seriously ill. Nonetheless, it's a difficult adjustment and it's taking time for my emotions to catch up with my rational brain.
The psych also spoke of the importance of giving space for anger to come out (in a non-destructive way).
Sometimes I feel I just want a big 'We understand that even though you're 'better' you're suffering in order to stay that way, you poor brave thing', which is bloody ridiculous because most people are suffering in one way or another and that kind of validation belongs in romantic novels, not real life. Which is why this forum is ace because we all get it here, which provides us with that acknowledgement and validation.
You all make this a much less lonely experience. Me and my aching big toe thank you. K xox
I saw my psych today. Amongst other things we discussed acceptance, and understanding the trade off that taking the AI has engendered. I explained that while intellectually I completely understood and was willing to put up with an array of difficult side effects for the possibility of a longer life, emotionally I was drumming my feet into the floor screaming "it's not fair". Of course it's not fair, nothing is and I'd rather be having my current difficulties than be more seriously ill. Nonetheless, it's a difficult adjustment and it's taking time for my emotions to catch up with my rational brain.
The psych also spoke of the importance of giving space for anger to come out (in a non-destructive way).
Sometimes I feel I just want a big 'We understand that even though you're 'better' you're suffering in order to stay that way, you poor brave thing', which is bloody ridiculous because most people are suffering in one way or another and that kind of validation belongs in romantic novels, not real life. Which is why this forum is ace because we all get it here, which provides us with that acknowledgement and validation.
You all make this a much less lonely experience. Me and my aching big toe thank you. K xox