You’re allowed to have why me moments @Nix, just don’t stay there too long. As @NewBoobsPLS said, you might not ever get an answer, and it’s not really important as it’s all about the next step now. None of us can undo the past. But def have a cry when you need to, because it really is unfair.
And try not to think of yourself as sick. You have a lump, it’s affected your breast, that’s it. You’re going through a temporary period of treatment which will make you unwell, but it’s temporary. The rest of your body is fine. Your breast will be too eventually. After that you will thrive. Sunshine after the rain. Words are important, so tell yourself you’re healthy, just going through something temporary.
Good luck and hugs 🤗🤗