Working during treatment

Thanks Deanne and Janet for getting back to me. I'm trying to just relax and not think about anything but the wedding at the moment. I have been planning this wedding for 9 months now and it just seems so unfair that 2.5 weeks out from it this happens. Some of the thoughts I have are stupid and childish, I know. Like if only I hadn't found the lump till after the wedding and cruise I could still be blissfully ignorant....but realistically I know that the earlier the better is how I should be thinking. The lump is currently estimated on ultrasound and mammogram as 2.5 to 3cm with a smaller 1.5cm lump partially attached to it. Probably best I didn't wait but it doesn't change the fact that I still feel like a child stamping my foot and yelling "this is not fair". I get scared so much but cover it with jokes, my 3 children 20, 13, 11 from my previous marriage have already had to go through losing their dad to a car accident 4 years ago and now I think they r worried about what will happen to me. I've tried to assure them that the odds are well in my favour and bc is not a death sentence. I guess it's normal to think "why me" " what did I do wrong". I think it will be better once I have the surgery and know exactly what I'm dealing with, they say patience is a virtue, but I'm not feeling very patient these days lol. Thanks for letting me rant...Tanya