Who me ?

Hi Magicmum,

Can certainly understand your nerves. I feel like I am in high school again waiting to get my rubella needle and constantly going to the end of the line  and now I find the line is finally at the end and I am next to get my bilateral masectomy. There is no more time, but in some ways that is such a good thing, cause this period of my life is in limbo and is stretching out endlessly. At this stage the type of cancer I have has not been defined other than to be invasive, So I don't know how concerned to be, crazy I know cause cancer is cancer and I should be concerned but should I be overly worried or just slightly concerned? So far on my journey my diagnosis has gone from bad to worse, so I am kind of expecting this to continue, but I would love it if after surgery they say well two rounds of chemo and that should do the trick and you can go about living your life the way you planned again.

I really want to know about the unknown. Good luck with all that you are dealing with my thoughts and prayers are with you. Lots of love Sue

Thanks Justrina, I have year 2 so it was quite difficult telling them. I sent a letter to my parents but I thought  it would be unfair for them to have to tell the children what was in my letter so I told them three minutes to three on Friday afternoon what they would find out from their parents. We all cried, it was heart wrenching, but I also told them we would have a celebration day and I would come and visit them which they liked. I miss them very much but needed time for me and to prepare mentally for what lies ahead. Hopefully I will go back before the end of term 4, but we will just have to wait and see.

Best wishes,

Sue (coco)

Your school sounds fantastic coco.What great ideas to raise money for breast cancer but have fun at the same time.I'm glad you are having time off for your treatments-one less stress to worry about if you are feeling crook. On the wig conversation;-I bought a very expensive human hair wig and I hardly wore it. It was good to have for special occasions but I could only wear it for several hours before it drove me nuts.It was hot and itchy and what's more,I felt self conscious that peolpe could tell it was a wig(silly ,I know).Chemo may bring on the dreaded menopause hot flushes and THAT makes a wig unbearable.On the upside,it's winter which makes  head gear  more tolerable.As soon as spring hit,my wig was put away.If you go for a human hair wig then you have to wash it and maintain the style -more fuss than your own hair! In hindsight,I probably would have gone for a good,but cheap acrylic one just to have on hand.I mostly wore cute caps and cotton bandanas from www.headcovers.org cos my scalp got so irritated with other headstuff.Good luck girls.

                                                     Tonya xx

I'm struggling to fight the butterflies tonight. It's so easy to tell myself to keep positive, but as Tuesday draws closer the dread is creeping in. Part of me wants it to be here NOW, to get it over with so I the unknown becomes known. Part of me - like all of us - wants this all to be some kind of nightmare that isn't happening.

:(

Start my steroids in the morning. It's all too real.

Keitha

I'm struggling to fight the butterflies tonight. It's so easy to tell myself to keep positive, but as Tuesday draws closer the dread is creeping in. Part of me wants it to be here NOW, to get it over with so I the unknown becomes known. Part of me - like all of us - wants this all to be some kind of nightmare that isn't happening.

:(

Start my steroids in the morning. It's all too real.

Keitha

Hi Coco

I to am a teacher and I love it. It was the hardest thing to accept that I wouldn't be returning to work whilst I go through my treatment... although I'm hoping to return just for the last two weeks of term 4. I teach high school so I told my students. There were lots of tears and hugs and a couple even offerrred to sit with me during Chemo (the school is not far from where I'm being treated).. Kids are fantastic... Teaching is one of this things I miss most.

Trina

That's a wonderful story ! And definitely something to keep you going Coco, how lovely.

All of my friends and colleagues have wanted to know and be kept up to speed with what's happening and where I am so I have been filling them in. Last night I was at work talking to 2 colleagues about starting chemo on Tuesday, and both of them said "You are not alone, you have us, we are with you all the way whatever you need". One of them is a young man whose dad has bladder cancer, so his love and concern is deep and meaningful - and I love them all for it. I'm so fortunate.

I had a few good sleeps this week, but the last 2 nights have been dire. My mind just won't rest - waiting. I know that once I have one treatment down it will be easier cos I will KNOW what to expect. And there will be only 5 to go after that too- bonus !

One of my friends gave me a cute little black feathery hat, very chic. And several have promised to knit beanies. I am going to a LGFB workshop in a couple of weeks, I wanted to be ready. I am pretty hopeless with makeup so hints will be more than welcome, and if they have wigs to try that will be good too.

Keep on keeping on girls.

love

Keitha

Hi Keitha

I managed to get a wig that look like it could be my own hair it looks so good my husband want me to get my hair cut like it when it grows back... but I find it uncomfortable... I would recommend you wait till you are a 'nude nutt' before looking...and if you can do a 'look good.. feel good' workshop and try different styles. At the workshop I went to I tried a red wig.. felt great and I loved the way I looked but because I already had a wig didn't get it... I did however try a turban/head cover called a 'Byron Bay'... soooooooo comfortable.  I now wear it all the time. So it's worth trying different things...

good luck and have fun trying...

Trina

Hi Keitha

I managed to get a wig that look like it could be my own hair it looks so good my husband want me to get my hair cut like it when it grows back... but I find it uncomfortable... I would recommend you wait till you are a 'nude nutt' before looking...and if you can do a 'look good.. feel good' workshop and try different styles. At the workshop I went to I tried a red wig.. felt great and I loved the way I looked but because I already had a wig didn't get it... I did however try a turban/head cover called a 'Byron Bay'... soooooooo comfortable.  I now wear it all the time. So it's worth trying different things...

good luck and have fun trying...

Trina

Hi Coco & Dan, welcome to my blog - more than happy to have you along. I get so much from reading other stories and from sharing my fears too Coco, it helps A LOT !!!!

Today was ok - I was working so that always helps to make the day go fast. A few down moments when I think about the what ifs and my tummy stars churning again, but nothing I can do to stop that right now. It's all a waiting game until I know how the chemo is going to affect me. Once the first one is under my belt I will be able to face the others with some sort of plan. bit like childbirth isn't it ? You can read all the books and listen to all the stories but until it's actually happening to YOU it is impossible to really imagine or understand. I am psyching myself into having a good experience with minimal side effects. :)

I wish I was younger Dan, then I wuld go for multiple fun wigs too, but I'm too old. (Yes I am !!! I'm not being precious - my job needs serious elegance) I will give it a try if I can find one that looks like my own hair, but otherwise I'm ok with scarves and wraps, I don't mind if people know why, maybe if more do they'll go and have mammograms and donate to research.

God luck to both of you with your treatment - and do keep positive, there's truly no point to anything else. If you like reading, have a go at The Power of Now. It's a very strong powerful book I'm working my way through. Yu don't have to be religious, but you can be if you want - it works either way.

loads of love

Keitha