Forum Discussion
Who me ?
"Come back for another scan, there's a grey area"
That was just over 4 weeks ago, and I thought "who, me ?" I was so sure it was just a bruise from when I had fallen some weeks before, and then they started scanning in a different spot . . .
*It's very small" "we've caught it early " "you'll be fine"
There's a little part of my head that just won't let me believe those things right now.
I have a wonderful surgeon who has done the wide excision and the sentinel node biopsy (results next Tuesday) and a fabulous support network including my family, my collegues at work and my old Nursing Mothers group - we've been friends forever, nearly 30 years, and their love is astounding.
I am talking positively to myself every day, filling myself with good thoughts, moving forward. Everything so far has been very smooth, and fast. But that fear of the unknown is inescapable in the middle of the night - what if it is already somewhere else ? Is my slightly upset tummy just nerves, or something sinister ? How do I know that my aching legs are just menopausal ? How will I stop myself from bombarding my doctor wih requests for cancer scans on every part of my body ?
How do you cope with that ? Can anyone offer any thoughts ?
120 Replies
I have learned so much in these past few weeks and not the least of these is how lucky I am.
Even though I am afraid of this disease, if I could swap what I have with one of our younger sisters with ABC, I would - in a heartbeat. I have at least had the joy of watching my children grow into adults, I've seen one married, I've had a LIFE. If there was a way to swap my elder years for someone else to have that chance then I would do it.
It's not fair - why do those beautiful girls have to die so soon ? It's not right.
When we see all the millions spent around the world on movie stars and sports people and by millionaires on goldplated bathrooms doesn't it make you cry ? Couldn't they pour all that into finding a cure ? Surely someone somewhere could find a cure if they had enough people and enough money to fund the research ? What's wrong with the world ?
It's too depressing.
:(
Keitha
buy up big girl , retial therapy is a great happiness pill.
goodluck with what ever treatment you have , and it is normal to be a bit flat, we have all been there. and it is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.
we are all here for you.fran
buy up big girl , retial therapy is a great happiness pill.
goodluck with what ever treatment you have , and it is normal to be a bit flat, we have all been there. and it is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.
we are all here for you.fran
Hi Keitha
Well, atleast like us its treatable. Stay positive my lovely, we will all be positive for you as well :).
Yes, the cranes idea is lovely, and I will put them actually in my kitchen window so I can see them everyday. I also have a beautiful glass bird that I have hung there which catches the light every day. This was once my mother-in-laws to which she died suddenly several years ago. I look at it everyday and smile at it. It reminds me of her - classy and beautiful.
Don't feel glum, actually have a toast to yourself a lovely wine or something that takes your fancy, to thank yourself that you found this at the beginning, and that now you will be treated and on the road to recovery.
Stay positive, like us. You will have bad days, but just remember there are good days and there will be achievement days. Days when you have achieved one less treatment to the endless ones we all will have to have.
Have a great holiday. Do all the shopping you want - coz remember - you do deserve it.... Indulge in the things you might not normally do, coz you can. And with your baby boy "19", I am sure he will also spoil you on your trip together. I think thats great you have a lovely relationship with him, as at 19 they tend to do their own thing. I hope my boys when they get to 19, they still enjoy my company....
Enjoy your trip, have fun, laughs, and indulge. Love as always Julie XX
Yes,just wallow in it if you feel like it.Nothing wrong with that,-can't be upbeat all the time.It seems like 2 steps forward and then 1 step back with this bc journey.Your paper cranes sound like a lovely idea and your trip with your son will be a great distraction.Gotta grab some fun and laughs when you can.
Tonya xx
- That's great news. I am so happy for you! AM
On day one I made a paper crane, and I have made one every day since. I will keep making one all the way through until I get to the end of my treatment. At the moment they are sitting on the top of the windows but I think I'm going to run out of space ! I might make a chain and hang them from the ceiling in my new craft room which my gorgeous husband has been renovating for me. It's a angible sign for me of moving forward, of progress and success and renewal. And aside from that, they're very pretty !
On day one I made a paper crane, and I have made one every day since. I will keep making one all the way through until I get to the end of my treatment. At the moment they are sitting on the top of the windows but I think I'm going to run out of space ! I might make a chain and hang them from the ceiling in my new craft room which my gorgeous husband has been renovating for me. It's a angible sign for me of moving forward, of progress and success and renewal. And aside from that, they're very pretty !
Great news! You are definitely a winner in the cancer world.What a relief to have clear nodes,that's the biggy.
Tonya xx
Hi Keitha
Thats fantastic news. Yes, now you will know what needs to be done.
Keep posting away.
Happy days for you. Love Julie XX
