What's been happening.

Dear@primek, Take heart, you are doing really well - our expectations may be unrealistic, but not our efforts. I have said it before but to recap - after working through treatment for a year (because I could, easily, not because I am brave or a superwoman), I had some counselling to try and clarify my thinking about who I was at the end of all that stuff. I took some long standing facts finally on board - I was a lousy delegator, bad relaxer, over achiever and in total denial about my age and yes, my mortality. Not a bad boss, would never ask anyone to something I wouldn't do, in fact frequently did it for them! So - when offered a new job, and getting over the immediate reaction ( "how could I possibly leave, it's a really busy time " etc, etc) I said only 4 days a week. No working from home stuff, I get paid for four days and I stick to it, but I don't clock watch. I delegate better, leave stuff in the office and stress less. Amazingly everything still gets done, while I have reclaimed whole slabs of my life. I don't think we ever really can go back across that line - the one where cancer will never happen to us, but stress is cumulative. Stress about one thing builds stress about others. 

Never underestimate your own worth. Yours is very high indeed. My very best wishes.