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Nards's avatar
Nards
Member
10 years ago

Wanting to turn back time...

Hi All

This may seem a strange way to start my blogging experience, but it is where the need is at right now!  I might back track at a later date to share the story of my recent diagnosis with breast cancer but for now...I really want to turn back time!

I love Easter...spending time with family and friends, camping, relaxing, drinking and eating etc.  Last night I caught up with friends and everyone is celebrating the start of a loooong weekend and I didn't really feel like celebrating.  We cancelled our camping trip due to me struggling to get comfortable in bed post surgery 1 week ago, I'm not having a drink - not wanting to "feed" the cancer and trying to watch what I eat and I have so many thoughts floating around in my head about what the next steps will be when my multidisciplinary team meet, one week from now. 

When I came home, my lovely Apple TV is playing a slideshow of photos and all I can think is "Oh, that was before I had breast cancer".  I really just want to go back to that place. :(

OK, my "poor me" is over for now!  Yes I will carry on, lucky to be surrounded by so many people that care, but I just needed the download.  I will soldier on and be strong for my family.  Thanks for your ears!

x

 

9 Replies

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  • lrb_03's avatar
    lrb_03
    Member
    10 years ago
    Happy Anniversary to you & your husband Donna. Been thinking of you Take care Lyn
  • RNSW's avatar
    RNSW
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi,

    I think we all wish that. I was diagnosed in June 2015 and still have my same Facebook profile picture, because I like to see it every time I log on. A lot of things change and we have to change with it. Don't ever feel like your feelings aren't valid, cos they are. 

    xo

  • Brenda5's avatar
    Brenda5
    Member
    10 years ago

    I feel your apprehension and with the tough road of treatment ahead of you it might have been nice to try and take your mind off things and get away but what if it didn't and the trip was a bomb? Perhaps that's what you could plan in the future with a new post cancer you, the mother of all camping trips away. Dream BIG!

    Happy anniversary to you and your hubby Donna.

  • donnafischer's avatar
    donnafischer
    Member
    10 years ago

    Yep, having one of those days myself. Its our wedding anniversary today and I'm day 3 from having a port put in and waiting on Chemo to start on Wednesday. Normally I'd be doing family things, organising something for our anniversary (28 years today) but i'm just pottering and stopping and starting. Tomorrows a new day.

  • primek's avatar
    primek
    Member
    10 years ago

    It's  perfectly natural to feel 'poor me' and don't  ever think you should always be strong for your family. Have a good cry. Say you are having a bad day. Tell them you need a cuddle. It actually helps them to know what you need and what you feel. Pretending can just lead to emotional shut down and can push loved ones away.  Staying strong is admitting our feelings. Thinking of you. Kath x

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi and welcome to the site. Easter brings back memories for me, I stared chemo the day before good Friday in 2014 and in 2015 my daughter and her husband left to go and live in Hong Kong. This year I went to work. I'm not sure what normal is but life is such a blessing and I'm trying to get as much fun, laughter and positive things in my life.

    The poor me I think we all go through that one, but we all pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. Good luck with your results this week and come back and visit often. Hope you have had a good day today xx

  • Ann-Marie's avatar
    Ann-Marie
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi Nards, 

    I just wanted to welcome you to the Online Network. You can start anyway you like when writing a blog here. The members and the online team are here to help and support in anyway we can. We will be here any time you need us x

    ~Ann-Marie 

  • Sandy_J's avatar
    Sandy_J
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi Nards. It's ok to have 'poor me' days. I'm 10 months post surgery and for various reasons we aren't going 4wd off-road this Easter either. I've just started seeing a psychologist to adjust to my 'new normal'. I'm cancer free after bilateral mastectomies with no Rads or Chemo. On Arimidex due to HER+  I don't think life will ever be the same so I'm determined to adjust to that 'new normal' I'm still not drinking and I'm , watching my diet and exercising, greatfull to be cancer free and want to stay that way. Good luck with your journey...

    Sandy