Hi Amanda, I can really relate to some of the things that you have said,I have lost 2 brothers & a sister 2 of them to cancer my brother & sister died within 2 years of each other & my cousin just recently died after her battle with breast cancer...I was too busy making sure everyone else was ok & putting them back together again & forgot about me... It did catch up with me I was diagnosed with BC in August with 2 tumours had a lumpectomy & had a hard time after my op.. I am going through radiation at the moment & I felt disconnected just like you, that's when I came on here & a couple of ladies advised me to see someone to help me through, so now I'm doing fine.. I see a really nice psychologist who is helping me understand a few things about myself now.... I really feel for you having gone through so much...wishing you well with lots of big ((hugs)) take care Christine:) xox