I think you have just stepped off the crazy freight train you have been on and everything has caught up with you. People deal with grief and hardship differently (myself included). When each of my parents died I went into organise mode each time and made sure everyone else was ok. I did the same when I was diagnosed and I do the same now. I keep my game face on in front of everyone. I feel like I have been running on adrenaline for 7 months and like you, it has caught up with me. I feel that no-one other than the girls on here and on FB support site really understand what we all have gone through and are still going through - cos it doesn't just stop. Keep checking in here and/or other support groups, it really lifts my spirits and hopefully it will lift yours. You must be emotionally drained and physically exhausted after everything you gone through. Lisa xx