The Disconnect

I read your post about 6 times,and kept thinking,oh my goodness!Amanda,no wonder you feel disconnected from people and things around you!In the last couple of years,you have had stress after stress,your Mum,your Dad,your father in law,your work,your house,and then your cancer!While reading through your post,it stands out to me,that not once in this whole time,did you get a chance to truly stop,and grieve for the people that you loved and lost,and also for your job and your home.When we suffer great trauma in our lives,no matter what it is,we need to be able to slow down ,and with the support of those around us,we need to be given permission to take time to process and work through what we have lost or suffered .Some people take longer than others,which is perfectly normal.Amanda,because you have been the breadwinner in your household,I don't think that you have been able to stop and let yourself fall apart,which is what you needed to do.So now,while most other people,are getting on with things,you are still stuck way back there!YOU need someone to put their arms around you and give you a big hug! Someone to tell you how BLOODY AMAZING you are,and someone to let you fall in a heap,and go through all those emotions that we all went through,at the TIME OF OUR TRAUMA,not 2 years later.I liken it to a death,when someone doesn't appear really upset,but sooner or later they will grieve.In their own time.I think it is your time now Amanda.Can your husband understand this,or maybe If you don't mind me suggesting,it would be the best thing for you to get some professional help.You could then work through all these emotions at your own speed,with someone who understands the importance of this.You can go to your GP and ask for a referral to see someone,or even just ring the Cancer Council.I want to wish you all the best Amanda,and I don't think that this is something that you can deal with on your own.You did a great thing to put your post on this network,because here at least you have ladies that understand.Take care and stay in touch on here.xoxoxoxo Robyn.