I just thought I would start a post about silly things people have said to you or told you as you have been on this BC journey. This has started after I read a letter to the editor if the Sunday Telegraph implying BC is the "sexy" cancer. A work colleague told me when I returned to work after 11 months of treatment "you're lucky as you got to have all that time off work"..... Clearly I was living the life of luxury drinking cocktails on the beach. What silly or insensitive comments have people made to you ??? Mel xxx

When I was first diagnosed and still at work, a colleague came up to me and said she'd just heard and how awful this was for me. She then proceeded to tell me that two of her close friends had 'died' from breast cancer. Just what I wanted to hear when I was about to start this journey! My sister-in-law also tells that a little girl she is tutoring is worse off than me as 'she is so young' and I've lived a longer life than this little girl is going to be able to. Every time she sees me she tells me how this little girl is doing so badly. Is this supposed to make me feel better? It is sooooo irritating. I've visited my work colleague when I've been well enough to have lunch with them at the uni where we work. I was told by one male colleague "how well you look, you're getting through chemo so well aren't you". I guess people are just trying to be nice but what they don't know is that it takes a good deal of time and effort to put on make up, draw on my eyebrows, put colour in my face and cover up my bald head with a scarf. I just nodded and smiled (gritting my teeth). But the thing that irked me the most (and I've posted this before) was when a 'stand in' Oncologist (when my Onc was away) told me that the side effects I was experiencing from Docetaxel were all 'manageable', I could have kicked him where the sun don't shine. I'd have liked to see him MANAGE. It's astounding what people say. Well now that I've had my little vent, I feel better :) Love Janey xxx

Mmmmmmmmm where do I start. Lets start with my very lovable and compassionate NOT male!!!!! oncologist telling me at my last visit with him that he hates dealing with females with breast caancer because they always have so many bloody issues.Meaning menopause, loss of libido, dry nether regions etc. etc. etc. Obviously not something him as a macho fat balding and very overweight male wants to have to bother himself with. He said following telling me the results of my PET scan is that I have told you that you are cancer free so what else do you want from me. Ummmmmm a little bit of that so called bedside manner that you men who play god get paid for. Not gunna happen with this man that is for sure. I am sooooo very pleased that I am not married to that lovely man!!!! mmmmmmmmm Mich xoxoxo

I'd be definitely asking for another oncologist. What an absolute b............d. How dare he take that attitude. Sounds like he's in the wrong profession and needs a good boot in the ...........s. Much love Janey xxx

I just saw this on another blog and it made me laugh. The blogger wrote..... "What you need are what Mad Magazine used to call “Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions”: 1. “What kind of cancer do you have?” “The highly contagious kind. Don’t breathe in.” 2. “Are you in great pain?” “Only while talking to you.” 3. “Did God give you this disease?” “No, I got it from Lance Armstrong.” 4. “Was Chemo difficult for you?” “Not other than the nausea, vomiting, bone pain & neuropathy.” 5. “Why haven’t you lost weight?” “I’ve got ‘chocolate-coated’ cancer.” 6. “I had a relative who died from cancer.” “Lucky guy — I’m stuck talking to you.” Remember — you can get away with being cranky — you’re on drugs, and you’re sick!" I thought this was classic stuff! Hope you all get a laugh too. Janey xxx

Silly things people have said to you

36 Replies

mona63
Member
13 years ago
I must admit i have noticed women, whilst im in a public area, around my age with very short hair, or scarves and i wonder about cancer and send blessings...
Cherylek
Member
13 years ago
Wednesday was second day at work with no wig. Going for a break a young, male Asian co-worker says to me, "Cherry (can't pronounce my name properly) what do you call that haircut?" I reply, "very short". He says to me, "oh, is that a style?", "yeah!" I reply as I walk away. Cheryle :)
Cherylek
Member
13 years ago
Wednesday was second day at work with no wig. Going for a break a young, male Asian co-worker says to me, "Cherry (can't pronounce my name properly) what do you call that haircut?" I reply, "very short". He says to me, "oh, is that a style?", "yeah!" I reply as I walk away. Cheryle :)
mona63
Member
13 years ago
Whilst i do get the postive outlook and saying soothing to myself; i must admit it is not helpful when people respond to asking how i am and then i get told to 'say excellant'' --there is quite a bit of pressure to be 'excellant' ; cant imagine anyone with a heart attack etc being told that postive thinking is somehow essential to the outcome!
mona63
Member
13 years ago
Whilst i do get the postive outlook and saying soothing to myself; i must admit it is not helpful when people respond to asking how i am and then i get told to 'say excellant'' --there is quite a bit of pressure to be 'excellant' ; cant imagine anyone with a heart attack etc being told that postive thinking is somehow essential to the outcome!
Mich_x
Member
13 years ago
Hey Viv

I relate to that one. Kind of like funny things people say and in our case don't say.......

Someone who was supposedly "my best friend" lives two houses up from me. I haven't heard from her since the day I was diagnosed. My hubby goes in to the hardware that her husband works in and they will talk about anything like hammers, nails, chook poo, anything but never once has he even asked hubby oh by the way how is Michele.

People, you just wonder sometimes. I just think to myself oh well their loss cause I have lost nothing and gained the knowledge that she wasn't a friend worth having after all.

You just move on and don't bother to give those people the time of day.

Lots of love, Mich xoxo
mgndam1603
Member
13 years ago
Oh you'll be ok, really how the hell do you know! that one really gets to me. You look fantastic, no-one would guess you have cancer. so minimal hair, no eyebrows and dark circles under my eyes all look normal.

One of my dearests friends said 2 weeks after my kidney removal, you shouldn't still be in pain, it was just a kidney. OMG, I had a major organ removed, how long did she think it should take.

But really I understand these people do not understand and do not know what to say, I much prefer the friends that say, I don't know what to say but I wish you well!

cheers

Donna
mgndam1603
Member
13 years ago
Oh you'll be ok, really how the hell do you know! that one really gets to me. You look fantastic, no-one would guess you have cancer. so minimal hair, no eyebrows and dark circles under my eyes all look normal.

One of my dearests friends said 2 weeks after my kidney removal, you shouldn't still be in pain, it was just a kidney. OMG, I had a major organ removed, how long did she think it should take.

But really I understand these people do not understand and do not know what to say, I much prefer the friends that say, I don't know what to say but I wish you well!

cheers

Donna
Mich_x
Member
13 years ago
I will be thinking of you Michelle. Good luck and it will be good to move to 12 month reviews. Another step in your progress to recovery. I see my wonderful caring and compassionate NOT!!!! onco for the last time today and hopefully we can find someone with a bit more finesse who I can see. Maybe I can progess out from 3 months to 6 months after today. Fingers crossed all round for us and anyone going through a progression process soon.

“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”Joshua J.Marine

Lots of love always, Mich xoxo
Michelle_R
Member
13 years ago
Thank goodness that whatever it was, it has gone now Mich. You certainly are a fighter. I am so glad that all is okay.

I have my 6 month checkup at the oncologist on Monday - had all the bloods done this week. If all is well, will progress to 12 monthly, so fingers crossed. Feeling a bit twitchy as the bones have been aching a lot lately - but maybe it's the new treadmill that I can't program properly yet!

Will let you know how it all goes. Lots of love back, Michelle xxx

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Silly things people have said to you

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“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”Joshua J.Marine

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