Putting my 50th on hold...

Hi Karen

Yes, it's a shock when what you thought was happening pivots 360 degrees! No wonder they call it a journey - with plenty of switchbacks and zigzags sometimes. I wish you lots of support and you will find plenty of it here on BCNA. 

I had a neat - very neat - lumpectomy but with axillary clearance to start and I recovered beautifully with physio to start chemotherapy (6 months of) three weeks later. But the kicker is my margins weren't clear and the two lumps seemed connected, so totalling 5cm. I have to go back for a mastectomy after chemo and before the 6 weeks of radiotherapy. For a while I was feeling very down about the extra time needed, and on top of that I'm planning reconstruction which will be more time devoted to having my body where I want it to be.

So it has motivated me to think about my broader life goals and what is really going to make me happy. All done in 12 months is not an option, but thinking longer term I will get where I want to be to realise those broader life goals, which is healthy, able to exercise, not having to think about prostheses and getting on with life with a few plan Bs in the back pocket.

Tip: the axillary clearance may cause what's called cording in some women which is fixed with massage, stretching and exercise. Cording is the fibrotic changes in lymph channels not being able to flow any more and it looks like cords of different diameter tight under the skin strung from your armpit and into the bicep, to elbow crook and even down the forearm, from fine string to some quite thick cords depending on the person. Visiting the physio who was a lymphodeoma and cording expert for a few weeks was great.

Cheers

Meg