I read your post and felt so much saddness for you, I know that doesn't help you but I feel your pain.
There is loads of advice for you from the ladies and it is all good, this site is so good for support, please stay with us.
Check your area and see if there is a support group that you can join and meet up with the ladies for a coffee and a chat, speaking to like minded people helps and maybe others have faced something similar but have not put it up on their blog.
I strongly advise that you see someone for yourself, I see a psychologist every 2nd week and have bonded very well with her. I have adjustment disorder (no kidding) no depression but I struggle with so many things happening in my life that are out of my control. Courtney (my doctor) is just wonderful, she has helped me identify triggers and how to manage them and what to do when I can't.
Anyway my best wishes and love are coming your way.
Donna