Hi Hazel.
It's not vanity I don't think. It has more to do with chemo taking away our identity. You all of a sudden become a 'sick' person. Losing your hair I think is losing the frame of who you are.
The surgery I had before chemo was scary but it was not wholly connected to me. It was still me looking back from the mirror. Chemo is different. The whole washed out, bawled look every time I caught a glimpse of myself was like holding a sign up saying I HAVE CANCER! The loss of my hair took away my sense of self and I think that's what we all grieve for. My hair is growing back differently but I am building a new frame and getting familiar with it.
Time will restore us Hazel.
Janey xxx