Mental Torcher

Hi Kezza, firstly a turtle hug (they are extra special you know!!)  You have been through so very much and it is a very normal (if not damn annoying) thing that after the safety of treatment is cut you seem to wake up one day and find that it is not all over and you are in free fall..  We seem to be expected to get over it and are susceptible to the thought pattern of... "you have finished treatment so what is your problem"..  Answer, we are damn awesome but not super women.

Looking at everything that has been going on.. No wonder you are back on the roller coaster right now..    So looking at all the stuff I will try to add some things that have helped me get through stuff..  so here goes..
FEC and Docetaxel are crazy bone achers of the highest order. I did regular panadol osteo for a while and it helped..  I found it needed to be consistent..  (if that does not help, speak to your doc and they should be able to help you with something a little stronger - though i have also been known to take a couple of nurofen half way between times for the osteo too)
no sleep, argh..  I hear you..  without sleep you have almost no ability to cope with much at all..  I eat 14 walnut halves each evening and also take a magnesium suppliment which seems to help me sleep better. I was also low in zinc and got that sorted and found i was not so fatigued (who knew).
the magnesium also assists with my feelings.. nice!! and until i started on my Afinitor and Exemestane I was also happily taking St Johns Wort.. damn amazing stuff.. (cannot now due to drug interaction).
Most importantly, if you are trying stuff and you still feel as if you are in a hole and cannot climb out, do not be afraid to ask for help as the hand up can be so very helpful.

I am sending you a wonderful and warm healing light to surround you and assist you..  Right now it is all overwhelming and that is OK and very normal..  Choose one thing at a time to solve and with each win it will become a little easier.  Then you will begin to become you again and find your happy place and the 'new you'  ..  yes the new you not the old you..  Take time out for you, and be kind to yourself and give yourself space.  It takes time to heal and each person take on it is different..    Hug your daughter and know that each day is a win and a little better..   I hope with all my heart that you are feeling better really really soon..  hugs Sharon (pink66)