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life
Today is Melbourne cup I went to work and logged on and burst into tears. My workload was so heavy I didn't know how I was gong to get through it all. The last few days have been terrible, really flat I feel like a sook. People look at me and think I'm well, my body is healing but my emotions and anxiety are not getting better. I have a husband who continually asks me if I'm ok and sits on the couch and waits for me to organise his day.
Just once I would like someone to ask me how I am and listen to me when I tell them I feel like crap. I used to be a happy positive person but I feel bc is slowly taking that away from me. I know life goes on and I have been so very lucky with support during treatment, but now I'm supposed to be great.
Tomorrow is another day so hopefully this cloud will lift, hope everyone is well sorry this is such a winge, I just needed to get it off my chest without being judged,take care everyonexx
16 Replies
Hi Rowdy Not much I can say, sometimes I can't believe I celebrated when finished treatment. You think its over - then these feelings set in, along with some side effects that dont want to go away. The tiredness doesn't help much either. Sometimes I sit there and think - Is this as good as it gets?? Maybe talking to a councillor would help. I know I feel better just after talking to my physio - she says that we should give ourselves about 2 years to recover - makes me happy that I can recover still!!! Hopefully venting has helped and things start improving for you. Pam
Hi Summer
I start Chemo in 3 days and I have just printed out your lovely inspiring words "Believe in yourself" and I am going to look at them every day to get me through this battle. I am nervous and tired already, but thankyou for your help already....
Cath XXX
Hi Rowdy, sending hugs your way. Take care, Lyn
Dear Rowdy
Sometimes you need something else. I went to a Counsellor when I hit my third bad side effect. Everyone thought I was doing great, my partner was very supportive, only I knew how close I was to losing it! A few months with someone professional, who knew her stuff, made practical and doable suggestions and helped me get to a new, very acceptable me instead of hankering after the old me, who could not get her head about not being superwoman, was worth the not very great cost!
It's a very worthwhile investment!
Hi Rowdy,
I am sending you a big hug and as my mum would say have a good swear, it always makes me feel better! You know it's not just our emotions that need healing it our bodies too I am only just realising myself that when the treatment finishes it doesn't mean everything is fine and dandy again, recovery is going to be a much longer road than expected. Anyway I hope you won something on the cup!
Emma Xxx
Hi Rowdy
Hello there - cheer up - you are never alone in your feelings.
Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary and Mr SNAG (not !) was no help to my sad mood either.
Then I re-read the words someone else put on this site and I felt a lot better. I have it as my background screen over a lovely ocean photo (I yearn for the ocean). I will try to copy the words for you.
PM me if you just want to talk.
Big hugs
Summer :-)
Here they are:
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Everything will work out
Things will get better
You are important
You are worthy of great things
You are loveable
The time is now
This too, shall pass
You can be who you really are
The best is yet to come
You are strong
You can do this
