It all started when I turned 40

Karen, Hi,

Thank you for your post. I am sure we feel the same way. Even when I was diagnosed with DCIS I wouldn't say I had cancer as a close friend had been diagnosed with secondaries at the same time. That woman had had breast cancer 16 yrs prior and was given 6 months to live. So I just shut up and stoically downplayed my diagnosis and treaments. Thankfully, my friend is still alive - she has had brain surgeries, titanium implanted in her spine and several treatments of radio and chemo. Throughout all her ordeal, I have been well. That's if you emphasise physical appreance. The effects of tamoxifen and how it turns me into a monster are another matter. I also have another friend who was diagnosed around the same time. As both my friends were older than me, my early detection was another positive aspect of my diagnosis. Also, both my frineds were larger ladies compared to me so their mastectomies were as obvious as their hair loss from chemo. Someone actually told me that I looked too pretty so people couldn't feel sorry for me. Not that I wantedt sympathy, but I felt I was being punished for making the effort to just get on with my life - that included fashion and make up as that was my background! So on many levels I can't relate to the serious and life threatening treatments that many women on this site experience daily and ongoing, simply because my treatment hasn't been as invaisive. But it still doesn't mean my issues aren't real and ongoing TO ME!.

Karen, not sure where you live but if you want to talk,  I would love to talk to someone my age with as you so perfectly expressed it, "survivor guilt". Hope you catch me on a good day but I will own up if it happens to be a bad day.

Kind Regards,

Maria