How do i deal with this

Such terrific advice from some terrific women - don't think you are alone. I had 17 nodes and a breast removed and have just had my 5 year check on my remaining breast and all clear. Hope my oncologist has good news also in December. At that stage my chance of a recurrence drops dramatically. I can of course get another unrelated cancer but as you know all too well, so can anyone.  I am so much better equipped to deal with it if it happens. Not the sort of life experience I would have chosen, but from this distance, still valuable. Dealing with cancer is like using a telescope - from the start you look one way and getting through it all seems impossible. 5 years on you look from the other end and it seems no time at all. As primek says there are no absolute guarantees about cancer. But there aren't many in life generally and we still want very much to be here. Take care.