Forum Discussion
Feeling flat
Good morning lovelies....I’m feeling really flat...burnt boobie from rads...unsupportive family which I think is the main issue here...I lost my shit with my family last week and haven’t heard from them, my mum is been indifferent towards me, which I find really hurtful. I’ve kept a smiley face on because if I cried I was been silly. I’m trying to get this business off the ground...no that’s great if you need any help sing out. My mum never asks how are you, how did you go at doctors, but will show concern for my sister who’s adult children take advantage of her. My mum had some Reno’s done whilst I was having chemo and sick as a dog, but made the comment that where have I disappeared to when she needed help. I’m not sure I want to go to my sisters for Xmas...but then I’m thinking how will my daughter feel about if we don’t go...I sometimes feel I’m better off without them in my life as I’ve kept my distance from them before and felt really good. Can anyone offer any advice? thank you xx
45 Replies
- That's a nice thing to do. This will be my second Christmas without my mother. She didn't like Christmas much, but it still seems odd. But children and grandchildren arriving soon (we mark Christmas Eve) so she would like that!
- Me too a "T" The captive audience for burdening woes and when the sun is shining for them they are off enjoying themselves with the very ones that cause their woes and I'm back here with their burden on my shoulders.
- Never underestimate the potential - I have just got my beloved to shift/move/get rid of stuff that's been annoying me for months "for Christmas" - I"ll stoop to that if it works!! @joannie, you need no justifications here. Active treatment or not, your brain and emotions take some time to rearrange! I think it may be the really strong ones, who carry everyone else, that need more time towards the end of treatment to attend to themselves.
It's just another day. Until everything turns to shit--which has happened too many times for me to even contemplate spending it with people who rub me the wrong way.
I haven't had a 'proper' Christmas in nearly 20 years. It's worked out just fine. Late afternoon my local friends tend to drop around --"I'm just going to pop in and see poor Marg, she's on her own again' Once here they chug back a couple of gins, smoke the illicit ciggie that they have told their mother they have given up, vent furiously about what shits their family are then go home feeling much refreshed. I look at it as a public service :)
- Stress may or may not be a factor in bc but it's not a good thing generally. Cancer can bring out a lot of stuff that otherwise gets buried. While having treatment, we are usually fully occupied (if not too tired to care). Afterwards there can be a bit of angst coming home to roost. Luckily I didn't have family matters causing distress, but I found counselling immensely helpful in sorting out my new normal. Your new normal would be very good if it cut out unhelpful stress so do give counselling a try. Think of it as training for a new role/life.
- @Joannie counselling sounds like a grand idea! Pent up hurt can manifest into an argument you never wanted to have! Take care and enjoy your time and if you do end up with family, that's fine too but perhaps put in an appearance and make a polite exit!
