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EMMA_MAY's avatar
EMMA_MAY
Member
12 years ago

Classic comments

I have enjoyed and not enjoyed some of the comments that come with people reacting to the news that I have breast cancer. Two comments that stand out to me are: On hearing that I was having a double mastectomy one of the other parents at my school (a larger lady) offered her boobs for a "bosomy cuddle" if my boys (4 and 7yrs) wanted one!!!! - I couldn't believe what she said. I replied with "I'm sure my boys will be happy with my new boobs, and so will my husband" My favourite comment goes to my 4 year old. Who last night said "Mum. Before the doctors took away that stuff (referring to the cancer) you had big falling down breasts. Now you have little ones that go out!!!!" He was so innocent, it was very hard not to laugh. There is nothing like a 4 year old saying it like it is :)

6 Replies

  • EMMA_MAY's avatar
    EMMA_MAY
    Member
    12 years ago
    It is interesting to hear what comments and reactions other people have had to having BC. I'm still not sure why people come out with "those" comments; If its because they don't think before they say it, or if they are unsure what to say or if they think that they are saying some thing that will 'make' you feel better or more relaxed with the situation. What ever the case, many of the comments are not needed and don't help with the what you are going through. Another great one, that I have had several times when referring to my double mastectomy and reconstruction, "oh well, I guess if you look at the bright side, you will have a couple of little perky ones at the end of it all". Yes, this is true and it's something I tell myself when I'm trying to look at all of the positive things on this journey... But I don't need to be told this by people that are just an aquaintence and not a close friend! You learn who your real friends are during times like these. Emma :)
  • Goldie_to_Raque's avatar
    Goldie_to_Raque
    Member
    12 years ago

    Emma....many people have a weird spin on Breast Cancer. These people sadly don't think prior to "engaging the mouth". When I was going through Chemo one friend would send me emails regarding people that had passed away from Cancer!  Same friend also commented that "only vain women have reconstruction"!

    Personally I don't understand others being so insensitive regardless of health issues. Dealing with Cancer and our own feelings, emotions and insecurities is more than enough I believe.

    "Onwards & Upwards" always.

    Kim

  • Carol's avatar
    Carol
    Member
    12 years ago
    My worst one was someone asking if i was afraid of dying. My reply no if Mum could survive 26 years with no chemo or radiotherapy I am certain ill live to see my sons marry and make me a Grandma. She didn't know I had entered my surgeons office saying if she survived to 78 maybe I could live to a 100! To which he replied 1) you don't need mastectomy and neither should she have had one in 1978 and yes you are more likely to die of something else. It is just a word and for most no longer fatal on its own. Her son was my older sons best man more than 2 years ago. i was diagnosed with lympheodema afterwards from heat, stress and a tick bite on top of full lymph node removal and radiotherapy to axilla and elsewhere. But I am alive and kicking even though the cancer was very aggressive and I intend to be for some time to come Your pink sister, Carol
  • Carol's avatar
    Carol
    Member
    12 years ago
    My worst one was someone asking if i was afraid of dying. My reply no if Mum could survive 26 years with no chemo or radiotherapy I am certain ill live to see my sons marry and make me a Grandma. She didn't know I had entered my surgeons office saying if she survived to 78 maybe I could live to a 100! To which he replied 1) you don't need mastectomy and neither should she have had one in 1978 and yes you are more likely to die of something else. It is just a word and for most no longer fatal on its own. Her son was my older sons best man more than 2 years ago. i was diagnosed with lympheodema afterwards from heat, stress and a tick bite on top of full lymph node removal and radiotherapy to axilla and elsewhere. But I am alive and kicking even though the cancer was very aggressive and I intend to be for some time to come Your pink sister, Carol
  • JeanineG's avatar
    JeanineG
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Emma I can so relate to what you're saying. One of the worst things a friend said to me was "well, you don't really need your breasts anymore"... Also, on hearing that I didn't have a spread off cancer another person said "well you don't have anything to complain about - there are a lot of people far worse off than you"... I guess people don't know what to say so they say some weird things. Sometimes it hurts though. Xxx Jeanine
  • JeanineG's avatar
    JeanineG
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Emma I can so relate to what you're saying. One of the worst things a friend said to me was "well, you don't really need your breasts anymore"... Also, on hearing that I didn't have a spread off cancer another person said "well you don't have anything to complain about - there are a lot of people far worse off than you"... I guess people don't know what to say so they say some weird things. Sometimes it hurts though. Xxx Jeanine