I'm a 34 year old wife & mother of two children under 6. I had grade 3 triple negative breast cancer and had a double mastectomy on 24th July. I've just had my 3rd AC chemo treatment and emotionally I'm struggling. I have one more AC cycle and then 12 taxol weekly treatments to go. I feel emotional at how much treatment I still have and the guilt of just not feeling good enough some days to play and have fun with my kids. This is my first post.

Hello Beck Congratulations on putting up your first post - that was my first venture into the big internet world a year ago ! I had no idea what I was doing but I am glad I made the effort. Welcome to this wonderful site - but I am sad that you have had to join - you will find lots of hope, information, encouragement and love from the ladies here. I have also sent you a personal messgae. Hugs Summer :-)

Hi Beck, Welcome to the network. You'll get a lot of support here and it's our diagnosis that brings us together in the first place. I can't imagine what it would be like experiencing chemo with young children. I've just completed AC, and despite having two teenage children, have managed to stumble through. Don't feel guilty, you do need to take time to recover. Hopefully you have a supportive partner and family/friends to organise play dates with other children? Take all support available and don't knock back offers of dinner cooked for you. BC takes an enormous toll on our bodies and mind. You can do this. I did find the last AC particularly difficult. I'm about to start the YWCA encore program tomorrow and I noticed they have an under 45s group in Sydney. (I miss out by 3 years!) I'm not sure where you are, but something like that might be helpful for you later. Sending big cyber hugs your wash. Be kind to yourself Karen xx

Hi Beck, I want to welcome you to the sight the best thing I ever did was join this online network which my breast care nurse recommended, it's so hard when we have young children my daughter is 9 and I was really worried how she would handle it all but she's very resilient but I know what you mean about not having the energy to play with your children because I feel the same way I can't play with her like I used to but one thing that brightens your day is when your children give you kisses and cuddles and just having quality time whether it be reading to them which is what I do or colouring you a picture or you colouring pictures with them and most importantly you need support and accept help if you can I have 2 wonderful Breast Care Nurses trained by the Mcgrath Foundation and sometimes I don't know how I would get along without them and the ladies on here you are never alone and we are women here us ROAR we are going to beat this and live on to see our children grow as one thing Cancer can't take from you is your spirit and positive outlook on life, sending you a big cuddle and a smile. Anitaxx

Hi Beck, I found at the midway point of my chemo I really didn't know how I would go on but somehow you find a way. One good day can do wonders for your mental health. I am 36 and have a very spirited 3 year old and some days I just can't be the best mum I would like to be but I give him as much love in others ways as possible. It's hard not to feel guilty but kids are amazingly resilient as I have found out. I hope you will not be too hard on yourself we really do have to take it easy at times. Big hugs Emma

Hi Beck welcome but I'm sorry you've had to join us. As women and mums we are very good about feeling guilty about things. The thing is, this is a valuable learning curve for your children. They will learn resilience, patience, empathy, a little more self reliance and that mummy is a person as well as a parent. None of us would want our kids to learn these skills through this experience but we have to take some good out of it. Reading, colouring, watching shows together that they love, listening to music together are all still quality time with the kids. Perhaps even some art and crafts. No you aren't going to feel up to it all the time and no it's not the same as running around with the kids but it is still special. It's is so hard to keep your spirit up when you're in the middle of chemo. Your body is screaming for you to stop but you know you have to continue on. You will get through it. It's not easy but think of it as short term pain for long term gain. Try to plan something nice that you enjoy for a day that you aren't feeling too bad. And yes, take every single offer of help. Take care and be kind to yourself. Karen xox

Beck 34 | BCNA Online Network

12 Replies

Kazzi
Member
10 years ago
Hi Beck,

Welcome to the network. You'll get a lot of support here and it's our diagnosis that brings us together in the first place. I can't imagine what it would be like experiencing chemo with young children. I've just completed AC, and despite having two teenage children, have managed to stumble through. Don't feel guilty, you do need to take time to recover. Hopefully you have a supportive partner and family/friends to organise play dates with other children? Take all support available and don't knock back offers of dinner cooked for you.

BC takes an enormous toll on our bodies and mind. You can do this. I did find the last AC particularly difficult.

I'm about to start the YWCA encore program tomorrow and I noticed they have an under 45s group in Sydney. (I miss out by 3 years!) I'm not sure where you are, but something like that might be helpful for you later.

Sending big cyber hugs your wash. Be kind to yourself

Karen xx
June1952
Member
10 years ago
Hello Beck

Congratulations on putting up your first post - that was my first venture into the big internet world a year ago ! I had no idea what I was doing but I am glad I made the effort.

Welcome to this wonderful site - but I am sad that you have had to join - you will find lots of hope, information, encouragement and love from the ladies here.

I have also sent you a personal messgae.

Hugs

Summer :-)

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Beck 34

12 Replies

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