Bad night

I'm just on to get things off my chest (ha! made a funny).  I had the partial mastectomy the Thursday before Christmas.  The surgeon said that the results probably wouldn't come in until the end of last week.  I hadn't heard by Friday afternoon so I rang him and he said they still hadn't come.  So, I've been putting it down to Christmas holidays and things getting held up at the Path Lab.  Still no call as of yesterday.  Last night, I came to the realisation that there's a very strong likelihood that the surgeon is waiting to tell me face-to-face at my followup appointment on Friday which would suggest not so good news - fully mastectomy and possible lymph node involvement.  I guess at least I'll have him cornered then.  I'm trying not to jump at shadows but I only managed a couple of broken hours of sleep last night, even after sleeping tablet.  I'm the sort of person who needs a plan and at the moment, I'm in the dark.  I've hated the recovery from surgery even though I've bounced back better than I thought I would.  I'm not so anxious about losing the breast, after all, it hasn't played nicely - more about losing more lymph nodes, cancer on the move and more surgery.
I gave up lying in bed about 6am and went for a 4km walk to relieve the anxiety which is the longest distance I've managed since the surgery.  
Sorry about the raving but I need the release of telling someone, don't want to make family and friends more anxious as they can't do anything, and the cat isn't always a good listener.