Baby Steps

Hello!

Thank you so much for your lovely post. I can certainly relate with your experience and it is again refreshing to know that someone else has "been here done that" and come through it all OK - complete with a healthy bub.

I have just had my third session of chemo on Monday and am doing really well. I have still been able to work most of the time (just taking a few days off for my treatment) which also has helped keep me grounded. It is indeed a rollercoaster but I do think, like others that I have heard from, that the pregnancy strangely seems to help you deal with the chemo better? Ironic, given we spend so much of this time so very carefully watching what we do or do not consume to help support the growth of a new little life! I do believe that this little blessing is helping keep perspective on everything too and I am convinced that attitude is a significant contributor to how you cope in the midst of this journey.

Looking forward, at present I have one more round of chemo to complete (on the 20th December so finished in time for Christmas - hooray!) and then will need to undergo further surgery in January. Scheduled for 19th January but at this stage we are still deciding the best approach. Unfortunately my margins were not clear from the lumpectomy so there is discussion as to whether it is feasible to go back and try taking "a bit more" - then having to follow-up with radiation after the little one is born - or doing a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. Having been a generally healthy person to this point the frequent doctors and hospital/surgery trips is a bit overwhelming. There is also the vanity about looking disfigured after all of this. Ridiculous that this should be so important but it just is. 

I have been fortunate in a few ways through all this compared to your story though. Firstly, I have managed to hang on to some of my hair. I have lost about 2/3rds of it but had so much to start off with that if you didn't know me you would think I just had fine hair. I am conscious of it but given I would otherwise be completely bald - really can't complain. The other thing is that my "team" of specialists have been brilliantly working together. I do feel quite blessed in this regard knowing your story. It must have been very confusing and upsetting at times for you being treated as almost two separate people with two separate conditions at times. You can all too quickly feel lost in this maze and knowing that there is a group of people who review my case regularly really does keep me focussed that I just have to go along with them on the ride. Such a blessing! It is also why there has been so much discussion about what is best surgery-wise for me next. I am personally not too keen on the radiation therapy (would really like to get this over and done with so I can just focus on the new little life once he/she arrives). To me the radiation therapy just adds more time and treatments to the calendar. The mastectomy does bring its own fears though. I am hoping they might be able to do one and preserve the nipple so aesthetically it is not so noticeable. My surgeon has also said he would do it as a transfer from my back muscle (since my stomach muscles are currently otherwise "engaged").

It is all a bit overwhelming but hearing stories such as yours do remind me that I am not alone and that others HAVE faced this juggle, and the wealth of decisions required, successfully. Thank you so much for your lovely reply. It is greatly appreciated. I do hope that in sharing our experiences others, who may just be starting this road, can do so knowing that it isn't all bad and in some ways, having a little life to focus on can be just the breath of air you need to keep you going! :)

So lovely to "meet" you!