As a dyed in the wool fixer, I empathise Shorelle with your need to do something! One of the hardest lessons of cancer is recognising that not all things can be fixed and that focussing on what you can't fix is counter productive. I spent far too much time pre cancer worrying about things that didn't happen. No, I haven't suddenly become perfect but I am a bit better at realising that such behaviour is pretty pointless. Zoffiel is right, everyone here is talking about some aspect of cancer - how much did you talk about that before you were diagnosed? It's the focus just as much, possibly more, than the recurrences which can obsess us. We have all skirted something lethal - let's enjoy what we have instead of burdening ourselves with too many what ifs. I too saw a counsellor for a short time - she was immensely helpful in the refocusing on what is really important. Best wishes.