What do you do if you feel really angry with someone but at the same time, in the back of your head, you heard... stop it you are just being a bitch???

Hi Cate and adeanAgree that that is in my head too!Personally I feel that this whole BC thing can change your tolerance for things - after all we have all been through - diagnosis, treatment, side effects, menopause, etc.......and although here on this site we get it often others don't. I find at times my tolerance for things is not as it once was and that is ok - I remind myself of this and try to see the situation making me angry from other's point of view before I let the bitch loose!!! Doesn' t always work though :#

You can be an angry bitch. Really, you can. The little voice is the thing that will make you feel like shit if you let the bitch off the lead and she bites someone she shouldn't. You're the only one who knows how that will turn out. Some people need a good roasting on occasions. I certainly do. It's all about context and perspective.

I'm with Kayvie, the real restraint is wondering when it's yourself, possibly completely unintentionally, who has been the bitch!! I know I have said really stupid things at times, and have appreciated the tolerance and forgiveness of others. We've all had good reasons to lose it, but least said, soonest mended.

I tried to explain to my husband (of 38 years) the other day why, as had been said, I was always so grumpy. The female two doors down whose barking rats...chihuahua and shitzu...get left in an enclosed courtyard for yours on end drive me ape s..t. The old fool over the road why spends his day with a leaf blower blowing leaves first up then down the road. Aforementioned leaves then eventually get blown onto an enormous heap, about chest height around a tree in his front yard. They're never disposed of, just rearranged as they blow free, day after day after day. I said it was as if I was a glass, which in the past was only partially full. If someone (the dog owner or the leaf blower fanatic), behaved thus, it was like adding a teaspoon of water into the glass....there was still room for that 5ml and the glass didn't overflow. I had the capacity to absorb it. Now, however, with all the trauma, worry, angst, anger, sleeplessless, the joys and delights of 12 weeks of AC and now week 9 into the Paclitaxel and Herceptin cocktail...and the bilateral mastectomy with full node clearance ever closer on the horizon...well my glass is now full. The meniscus is bulging. Some twit comes and drops in 1ml, never mind 5ml...sets the water overflowing and I turn into a drooling idiot. I just lose my mind (what's left of it), and my language is appalling!! I'm not even sure if it is anatomically possible for these miscreants to do what I rage that they should!! Eventually I calm down, but gee whizz why indeed am I so grumpy? Why the heck not?

Angry or not?? | BCNA Online Network

33 Replies

melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Cate! You make me laugh!!! I sooo love your unwavering spirit!!! Fly like the wind girl! xo
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Bwahahaha Cate - You're such an awesome medal junkie!!!! Totally love it!! How's the bike training going?
Share
Member
9 years ago
Expend all that energy @Cate64 - use all of that "fire in your belly' to "run like the wind" :
Cate64
Member
9 years ago
oh & oops...... @Share & @socoda you will laugh at this..... BUT............ I somehow agreed to register for a Triathlon!!! just dunno how that happened :)

ogh wait, yes I do - someone said 'you get a medal' ha ha ha
Cate64
Member
9 years ago
@JanineG yes, I am bloody amazing :) thank you :)

I am Xena - Warrior Princess, I will not be defeated :)
Share
Member
9 years ago
Crying helps Janine (I often do it in the shower), stomping your feet (just don't hurt yourself), lots of deep breathing and yep, laughter. I try to find joy and a reason to laugh every single day (some days it is not try it is trying !).
yes, we are all bloody amazing :)
JanineG
Member
9 years ago
Emotions! I cry so easily. I swear almost uncontrollably and the worse the language the more satisfying. I am furious when the toast burns or I hurt myself. I'm an abusive driver, (secretly in my car). I'm so so tired. And when I laugh it's the laughter of true joy! I hope over time laughter will be first on my list.
Cate64 be angry and disappointed, it's real. Then remind yourself how bloody amazing you are
Share
Member
9 years ago
Yes, ladies, a bit like social media - words that are not communicated face to face where you can read other's body language and take stock of their demeanor, small nuances and important social cues are missed.

Which is why it would be nice for my husband to have that support offered and available - someone just to say "How can I help" or "What do you need".
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
Ah families they are always so different to the happy family portraits of movies etc..... HUGS I get you....
Cate64
Member
9 years ago
@Share serious??? cant people forget their problems??? all I can say is SOME PEOPLE!!!!!!

Sending you massive big hugs.