I read your story and felt your strength. I understand why you want to keep things to yourself. Being such a caring person, you don't want to place any harm on others. You will need support though. Don't be too strong - take the support that is offered. I am the strong one and even my sisters said "You got bc because you could deal with it the best" We all need love and support. Take care of yourself as well as others. You are number One on this earth and it is your time to "look out for you". I applaud the love and kindness that you are giving to your mum. I have been there as well - I miss my mum but have no regrets. I have many wonderful memories that keep me going. Keep making memories. XLeonie