Forum Discussion
Janey235
13 years agoMember
A shared thought
Hi my pink sisters.
I've been lying awaking with thoughts going through my head and I thought I'd put them down and share them with you. I wrote a poem and called it WAITING. Here goes.
This was the day it all began.
I'll explain it all to you if I can.
I'm in a clinic awaiting my test.
A routine exam I have on my breasts.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
It's over now, on with life's daily grind.
I don't have any bad thoughts in my mind.
A letter arrives, I'm ill at ease.
I thought the mammogram would be a breeze.
I go to the hospital to have more tests.
I'm told not to worry, I'll do my best.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
Poked and prodded and scared right now.
Could this be happening I wonder. How?
Just days ago I felt care free.
Could this be happening? How could this be?
The results are in and I go back there.
Back to the hospital, I begin to despair.
And I sit in a chair. Waiting.
The worst news possible, my life turns around.
I cry out but there isn't a sound.
Plans are made but I'm spinning and turning.
I don't hear a thing.
By my ears are burning.
I fear the worst. It's black as night.
But my love is with me. He holds me tight.
Now it begins, this journey of mine.
More hospital visits, my new daily grind.
I sit in chairs. Waiting.
My body is cut, the invasion is gone.
I'm overwhelmed with relief, I can now carry on.
But now comes the hard times I'll need to endure.
With drugs I am hit. Is this a cure?
Long months go by, I'm in such pain.
I must go through it again and again.
Another infusion, just one more.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done before.
I sit in my chair. Waiting
I'm over the worst but with a hurdle to go.
Back to the hospital and this time I know
my body will be different than it was before.
I grieve and I ache to my very core.
But my love is with me, he holds me near.
He gives me strength, I should not fear.
I'm a survivor, I have come through.
It's like starting over, like starting anew.
The sun is shining, the clouds are abating.
I'm out of my chair, my life is waiting!
I hope you enjoy reading this. It gives me pleasure to share it.
Love to you all
Janey xxx
53 Replies
Just lovely Janey!
I am about to hit the 1 year mark since I was first diagnosed so for me it will be back to the radiation oncologist and specialist to undergo the required testing to make sure there has been no reoccurence. So once again I will be just sitting in that chair and waiting, on my own, for the good, or bad, news. Testing times and only those who have been or are going through it understand how it all feels. Your poem says it all!
Hugs,
Vicki oXo
ps. If only my mother and sister would understand what I have been going through!
- sallywMember
My bad, I must have been tired this morning. Good luck for your surgery on Tuesday. I hope it all goes well. Sally.xx
- Janey235MemberThat's good Sally. You're right, there isn't much else we can do but get through. I haven't actually had my surgery yet. I go into hospital on Monday and have the surgery on Tuesday. Two more sleeps. Janey x
- sallywMember
You are right, we are all allowed to cry every now again. It was all fine. Sometimes a little cry helps. I was okay and I am staying positive. I am lucky to have a fantastic support network and there really isn't much that I can do other than get through this journey one day at a time. I showed your poem to my partner too and he loved it. You really should publish that somewhere. I am glad you are recovering from your surgery. I hope you are feeling better real soon. Sally. xx
- Janey235MemberI'm glad you liked it. I've been reading your posts and I know where you are at. Hang in there and I really hope that your pain isn't too bad and that you get though the Docetaxel with not much more. Just keep telling yourself that you are almost half way. I called that round the hump round. Sending you a hug. Janey xxx
- Janey235MemberSorry to set you off and sorry you are now on this journey. But we are all allowed to cry every now and then even when we are trying to stay positive. That way some of the tension is eased. Please feel free to vent and get things off your chest. We are here to support you my dear. Love Janey xxx
- AndirMemberHi Janey That poem is beautiful, made me cry & it's all so true Andi Xox
- sallywMember
Thanks Janey for that beautiful poem. That made me cry a little. I only cry sometimes as I am staying as positive as I can, it is words like yours that set me off. I was only diagnosed 2 months ago, so my journey so far has been short, however I could relate to so much of what you wrote and like you, I am lucky to have my love of my life with me also. So much waiting, but it will all be worth it in the end. Sally xx.
- sallywMember
Thanks Janey for that beautiful poem. That made me cry a little. I only cry sometimes as I am staying as positive as I can, it is words like yours that set me off. I was only diagnosed 2 months ago, so my journey so far has been short, however I could relate to so much of what you wrote and like you, I am lucky to have my love of my life with me also. So much waiting, but it will all be worth it in the end. Sally xx.
- Janey235MemberGood luck with all of that Ngaire. Hope your chemo hasn't got long to go. That's a great day, awesome feeling when that's done and dusted. Love Janey xxx